HONESTY (UPDATED)

I STRUGGLE DEALING WITH PEOPLE.

I'M NOT THE EASIEST PERSON,

NOT FORGIVING ENOUGH,

AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND

WHEN I DON'T GET MY WAY,

WHEN THINGS DON'T GO AS PLANNED.

DON'T YOU SEE

MY DISABILITY?

CAN'T YOU TELL

THAT I'M NOT WELL?

ISN'T THE WHEELCHAIR A CLUE

THAT I'M NOT LIKE YOU?

I DON'T WANT YOUR SYMPATHY,

OR YOUR PITY.

I JUST WANT TO BE NORMAL,

AND I'M TIRED OF THE STRUGGLE.

I'M JUST ASKING FOR YOU TO BE A LITTLE ACCOMMODATING

AND LOOK AND SEE

THAT I'M NOT AN ABNORMALITY

JUST BECAUSE I CAN'T WALK LIKE YOU

OR STAND OR SIT OR DO ANYTHING WITHOUT THIS PAIN

THAT HAUNTS ME DAY AND NIGHT,

THAT NEVER LETS UP,

THAT MAKES ME WANT TO FIGHT.

BUT WITHOUT THIS PAIN OR THIS DISABILITY,

I WOULDN'T BE WHO I AM TODAY,

SPEAKING OUT ABOUT THE KING.

THIS PAIN IS THE THORN IN MY SIDE

THAT KEEPS ME REAL, KEEPS ME FROM HIDING FROM THIS WORLD.

SO I SPEAK OUT BECAUSE I KNOW

THAT WITHOUT JESUS WE WOULDN'T BE WASHED AS WHITE AS SNOW.

OUR SIN SEPARATES US FROM GOD,

BUT BY HIS BLOOD WE'VE BEEN 

REDEEMED AND FORGIVEN.

IF ONLY I WERE MORE LIKE YOU, LORD.

ISAIAH 41:10 - SO DO NOT FEAR, FOR I AM WITH YOU.

JESUS IS THE ONLY BRIDGE TO FREEDOM (UPDATED)

JESUS IS THE WAY
AND
THE TRUTH
AND 
THE LIFE.
HE IS THE ONLY BRIDGE TO FREEDOM,
THE ONLY WAY
TO WIN
THIS O SO EXHAUSTING FIGHT.
I AM NOT ASHAMED TO SAY
THAT JESUS IS THE ONE AND ONLY WAY.

JOHN 14:6 - JESUS ANSWERED, "I AM THE WAY AND THE TRUTH AND THE LIFE.  NO ONE COMES TO THE FATHER EXCEPT THROUGH ME.

JESUS IS MY COMPASS (UPDATED)

I WATCH THE WORLD AND A LOT OF TV

AND I SEE

THAT SO MANY PEOPLE ARE LOSING THEIR WAY

BECAUSE THEY'RE TRAVELING WITHOUT A COMPASS

EVERY DAY.

OF COURSE YOU'RE GOING TO GET LOST

IF YOU TRY TO FIND YOURSELF

WITHOUT THE CROSS.

IT'S SAD WHEN I SEE

SO MANY LOST PEOPLE

STRUGGLE IN THEIR OWN CONFUSION

WHEN THE ANSWER IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM

AND THE SOLUTION IS SO SIMPLE.

JUST GIVE THE WHEEL TO GOD,

LET HIM GUIDE YOU EVERY DAY.

AFTER ALL, HE MADE THE WORLD,

SO HE MUST KNOW THE WAY.

JESUS IS THE LIGHT, OUR GUIDEPOST,

THE ONLY ROAD TO FREEDOM,

THE ONLY WAY TO KEEP FROM GETTING LOST.

I PERSONALLY HAVE TO RENEW MY OATH

EVERY MORNING, EVERY TIME I THINK, EVERY TIME I BLINK.

I ASK JESUS OVER AND OVER AGAIN TO BE MY SAVIOR, TO BE MY KING,

TO LEAD ME THE WAY I SHOULD GO, TO BE MY EVERYTHING.

I CAN'T DO THIS WITHOUT HIM, I WON'T DO THIS WITHOUT MY LORD.
I DON'T HAVE THE STRENGTH, THE WILL OR THE WANT

TO DO THIS LIFE, TO RUN THIS RACE, TO KEEP UP THIS PACE

WITHOUT HIM, MY COMPASS.

PSALM 5:3 - IN THE MORNING, O LORD, YOU HEAR MY VOICE; IN THE MORNING, I LAY MY REQUESTS BEFORE YOU AND WAIT IN EXPECTATION.

BROKEN AGAIN

TODAY IS A NEW DAY,

AND THE DAM HAS BEEN BROKEN AGAIN.

THERE IS A FLOOD OF TEARS,

A CRACKED HEART IS MENDED.

ONLY JESUS HAS THE POWER TO RESTORE,

TO MAKE MY HEART WHOLE.

SIXTY YEARS IS A LONG TIME.

MY HEART WAS BOUND TO BREAK,

THE EARTH WAS MEANT TO QUAKE.

MY FAMILY NEVER CARED,

I NEVER RECEIVED THE LOVE THAT I NEEDED SO DESPERATELY,

JUST WANTING TO FIT IN.

I THANK GOD EVERY DAY FOR MY HUSBAND

WHO LOVES ME UNASHAMEDLY, FAULTS AND ALL,

TRYING TO HIDE THE WRINKLES AND DISGUISING THE GRAY.

HE HELPS KEEP ME ON TRACK,

GETS ME TO CHURCH,

ENCOURAGES ME TO STAY IN GOD'S WORD

AND TO PRAY,

SET'S THE EXAMPLE AS HE SHOULD

AS HEAD OF OUR LITTLE FAMILY.

I NEVER HAD THAT BEFORE,

BUT GOD HAD A PLAN

AND LED ME TO THE RIGHT MAN.

PUT YOUR TRUST IN THE LORD

AND HE WILL HELP YOU TOO

TO FIND THE RIGHT MATE,

WIPE THE SLATE,

GIVE YOU A NEW CHANCE,

DANCE THE WEDDING DANCE.

LET JESUS BREAK YOU,

RENEW YOUR SOUL.

THAT'S THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN BECOME WHOLE.

ROMANS 5:5 - AND HOPE DOES NOT DISAPPOINT US, BECAUSE GOD HAS POURED OUT HIS LOVE INTO OUR HEARTS BY THE HOLY SPIRIT,
WHOM HE HAS GIVEN US.

I'M JUST HANGIN' ON FOR THE RIDE (UPDATED)

This life is not my own.
I'm not in control.
I don't want to be
the responsible party.
I would rather go through this life
without all of the strife,
without worries,
without cares,
without fears,
without these problems that wear me down,
make me frown,
wear me out
and make me want to scream and shout.
I'd rather go to the assembly
and leave my problems at the altar,
restore the Holy Ghost in me,
the Trinity.
I want to go to the cross,
rest my weary head at Jesus' feet,
receive the comfort I so desperately need,
be inspired,
be renewed.
I want to feel whole for the first time,
be forgiven of my sins,
rinsed clean
in His sacrificial blood.
When my life is in His hands,
and  I'm where I belong,
I will fully understand the peace that surpasses all understanding
and be restored,
made new.
Jesus reigns,
and I'm not in control.
Amen.

2 CORINTHIANS 5:7 - FOR WE LIVE BY FAITH, NOT BY SIGHT.

OUCH! THIS THORN IN MY SIDE HURTS! (UPDATED)

STILL NOT COMING TO TERMS
WITH THIS CONSTANT,
SOME DAYS OVERWHELMING PAIN.
BUT IT KEEPS ME WRITING.

I LOOK TO JOB FOR INSPIRATION,
BUT AS MY DEAR HUSBAND SAYS,
"JOB HAD IT EASY."

THEN I LOOK TO THE APOSTLE PAUL,
AN AWESOME MAN OF GOD,
WHO TRAVELED MORE THAN
10,000 MILES,
ALL THE TIME
WITH A THORN IN HIS SIDE.
AND HE ONLY ASKED GOD
THREE TIMES
TO TAKE THE PAIN AWAY.

HEY!
I HAVE ASKED GOD,
WELL,
LET'S JUST SAY,
MORE THAN THREE TIMES
TO HEAL MY BACK
SO I CAN WALK UNFETTERED AGAIN.

I MISS BEING ABLE TO RUN.

BUT IF THIS IS MY THORN,
IF THIS IS WHAT HELPS ME TO WRITE,
HELPS ME TO HELP OTHERS 
WHO ARE HURTING IN ANY WAY,
THEN I WILL FINISH THIS RACE
WITH A BIG SMILE ON MY FACE.

2 CORINTHIANS 12:7-19 
THEREFORE, IN ORDER TO KEEP ME FROM COMING CONCEITED, I WAS GIVEN A THORN IN MY FLESH, A MESSENGER OF SATAN, TO TORMENT ME.  
THREE TIMES I PLEADED WITH THE LORD TO TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME. BUT HE SAID TO ME, "MY GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR YOU, FOR MY POWER IS MADE PERFECT IN WEAKNESS.

AMEN.

NO REGRETS (UPDATED)

feeling old

regrets

memories are oversold

the past belongs where it belongs

today

here and now

Jesus is on the throne

He is in control

this life is not my own

He gave me a job

a race to complete

the finish line I cannot yet see

I am forgiven by He who still lives

there may be some who still hold it against me

but I must forgive myself

keep going

do what I am here to do

I have a job

share the good news

tell others of His love

the sacrifice He made on the cross

He did it for me

He did it for you

He did it for all of us

because of His great love

He sacrificed

so we must too

give up what doesn't matter
and forgive and forget

and move on

PSALM 4:3 - KNOW THAT THE LORD HAS SET APART HIS FAITHFUL SERVANT FOR HIMSELF; THE LORD HEARS WHEN I CALL TO HIM.