Is this why?

If you haven't suffered,
how can you empathize?
If you haven't been belittled,
how can you sympathize?
If you haven't felt excruciating pain,
how can you encourage others who've felt the same?
If you haven't been discouraged
by those that should have shown you love,
how can you lead them to Jesus,
the only one who knows true love?
Is this why I've been put here,
to help others through the horrible pain
of being made to feel invisible
then brought out only when it's time to explain?
Will I reap the rewards promised to me?
Is there streets of gold waiting?
But, to be honest with you,
all I really care about
is sitting at my Lord and Savior's feet.
I look into the sunset,
and all I see is His face.

Family

Middle of the night.

All I can think of

is have I done enough?

And the answer is always no.

I could be doing so much more.

So I write and pray

that someone somewhere

will be touched by what I have to say.

You are not worthless, you have a name,

nothing you can do could ever make God ashamed.

Jesus loves you more than you could ever know.

Even if you've been abandoned by your family,

Jesus will never ever let you go.

You have a place.

You have a home.

You have a family.

Me.

This is what I want

I hear you from the pulpit,

saying things I don't understand

and dressed like you're headed for the sand,

making up jokes along the way

as if that was the most important thing to say.

When did it become okay

to say derogatory things

about other denominations,

as if they were a joke

and you had the only answer?

When did it become okay

to stand on holy ground

dressed like a clown?

Am I just getting old

and don't understand

that it's passe to not give alter calls

or lay hands on the sick, praying for a miracle?

Have we forgotten that Jesus is the same today

as He was yesterday?

I need a miracle.

I need to be anointed with oil.

Is it too much to ask

to go back to the old ways?

To pray for the sick

and to have some respect?

Whatever happened to communion?

Is that, too, a thing of the past?

Are we experiencing itching ear syndrome,

just giving them what they want?

I'm not afraid to tell others that Jesus is the only way.

I've lost family over it, but aren't souls worth more than that?

I want to plant seeds,

I want to shine my light,

I want to spread the glorious word

that Jesus, God's only son, sacrificed His life.

He shed his blood.

We are loved.
AND I'M PROUD 
TO BE A FOOL
FOR JESUS!

NOTW (NOT OF THIS WORLD) (COMPLETELY UPDATED)

HOW DO YOU FORGIVE

WHEN YOU'VE BEEN HURT FOR NO REASON?

HOW DO YOU FORGIVE WHEN YOU'VE BEEN LOCKED IN VERY DARK, DAMP CLOSETS CONSTANTLY

BY YOUR OLDER, ONLY SISTER?

HOW DO YOU FORGIVE

WHEN YOU FEEL HATED,

BERATED,

CALLED HURTFUL NAMES

THAT STILL STICK TO THIS DAY - 

LIKE DUMB AND UGLY?

HOW DO YOU FORGIVE

WHEN YOU'VE BEEN MADE

TO FEEL INVISIBLE

BECAUSE YOUR SISTER HAD POLIO?

JESUS SUFFERED WORSE THAN ME,

AND HE FORGAVE.

SO WHY CAN'T I?

I MUST FIND FORGIVENESS IN MY HEART 

IF I AM MEANT TO CONTINUE.

I MUST FIND IT IN MY SOUL

IF I AM TO CONFESS THAT I AM NOT WORTHY

TO RECEIVE HIS GRACE

THAT CAME FROM THAT CROSS.

THE SACRIFICE

THAT WAS GIVEN SO FREELY.

WHY, O WHY, GOD, DID YOU PLACE ME

IN SUCH AN UNLOVING FAMILY?

ONE THAT ABUSED AND BERATED AND MADE ME FEEL HATED

DAILY?

AND LET'S NOT EVEN MENTION THE PHYSICAL ABUSE.

AFTER ALL,

IT'S BEEN A FAMILY SECRET FOR SO LONG.

OR DID THEY JUST DECIDE IT WAS EASIER TO IGNORE WHAT WAS GOING ON?

BUT YOU CHOSE ME, JESUS,

OUT OF ALL OF THEM,

MAKING ME FEEL A LITTLE LIKE DAVID.

YOU CHOSE ME BEFORE I WAS EVEN ME.

OTHERWISE, WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN THE POINT

OF THIS PARTICULAR REALITY?

LORD, I PRAY THAT I CAN FORGIVE,

AND I KNOW THAT  ALL OF THIS PAIN WILL BE FORGOTTEN THE FIRST DAY I AM WITH YOU.

IT WILL ALL HAVE BEEN WORTH IT.

JOHN 18:36 - JESUS SAID, "MY KINGDOM IS NOT OF THIS WORLD."

JESUS WILL BE BACK (UPDATED)

Our days here are numbered,
so make the best of what you can.
Just because you're not 61 like me
doesn't mean you're not near the end.
We are not promised tomorrow.
Personally, I'm waiting for the rapture.

It's been said
that Christians 
should live 
as if Jesus
was born yesterday, 
crucified today,
and will rise again tomorrow.

Don't miss a chance to plant a seed,
to dry a tear,
to forgive,
love
and hug someone dear.

I called my mother yesterday.
I found out she had been in the hospital
three times this month.  
She has bad heart problems.
And I don't want her to leave this world 
with things unsaid,
the way my father did. 
He died all alone 
on the cold bathroom floor.
No goodbyes.
No one knows why.
I guess it was just his time.

It's difficult to live with regrets.
It tears you up inside.
And despite the beliefs of some,
even my belief at one time,
you cannot talk to to the dead.
Ashes to ashes.  Poof!
We are either with our Lord
or somewhere else
that no one in their right mind would wish to be
or some even believe exists.
Just to make it clear, hell wasn't made for us.
It was made for the fallen angels.

I long for the day 
when the craziness of this world
is just a vague memory,
or really no memory at all.
I will spend eternity 
praising my Lord, 
warming in His light,
and listening to his stories.  
What better way to spend eternity.
And forever is a long time without the Trinity.

No more worries,
No more fears,
No more heartbreaks,
No more tears.
No more fighting,
bruises
or hurting.
Doesn't that sound just right?

Joy will rule our days.
And we will be in awe 
of heaven's glorious sight,
living in God's magnificent light.

Keep the faith
because this life
will pass
in just a blink of an eye.
It has for me.
Yesterday I was 17
and soon I shall be 62.

Make your days count.
Share the Good News.
Don't be afraid or ashamed
to plant and water seeds of faith.
For Jesus will be back, like, any day now.

Do you honestly want anyone to lose out?



MATTHEW 24:36 - "FOR ABOUT THAT DAY OR HOUR NO ONE KNOWS, NOT EVEN THE ANGELS IN HEAVEN, NOR THE SON, BUT ONLY THE FATHER.

I want, I want, I want (UPDATE)

The news gets me down.
I want to believe
that He's watching over me,
down below,
and He knows
the things of which I struggle.
Is the tumor still there?
Is he going to make it disappear?
I know He has the power.
But what is His plan?
Must I go through this too?
Am I to be like Job
and listen to the bad report?
Or should I just
put my trust
that He knows best
and to not take it off of his desk.
I refuse to believe
what the doctors say.
I want a miracle
and I want it today.

HEBREWS 5:16-18 - REJOICE ALWAYS, PRAY CONTINUALLY, GIVE THANKS IN ALL CIRCUMSTANCES; FOR THIS IS GOD'S WILL FOR YOU IN CHRIST JESUS.

UPDATE:  I ENDED UP, AFTER SIX LONG MONTHS, FINALLY FINDING OUT THAT I DID NOT HAVE CANCER AFTER ALL.  PRAISE THE LORD FOR HEALING ME!

PLEASE DON'T BLAME YOURSELF (UPDATE)

You tell me that I'm worthless,
that I'm stupid and not worth 
the paper I'm printed on.
My entire life even to this day 
you have treated me with disdain,
as if I was inconsequential
and invisible.
You try your hardest
to convince me and continue to say
that there is no way
that I could ever make a difference. 
But here I still am
and here on this rock I will stand,
held steadily in His great hands.
His wings surround and enfold me,
keeping me warm.
He sent His son to die for me,
for all of the stupid things I've done.
You don't control my fate
and you have no say
over what God has in store for me.
I could only have days
or even minutes left.
But in the time He has given me
I will plant seeds.
I have a purpose and a need
to spread His love
to those who feel the same
and remind and convince them
that they should not be ashamed.
I pray that you remember 
you are not to be blamed for what they say.


ISAIAH 43:18-19 - FORGET THE FORMER THINGS, DO NOT DWELL ON THE PAST. SEE I AM DOING A NEW THING, NOW IT SPRINGS UP. DO YOU NOT PERCEIVE IT? I AM MAKING A WAY IN THE WILDERNESS AND STREAMS IN THE WASTELAND.