Did I?

The wind sings a melody, whistling through the leaves.
The son lights my way in this play.
The air smells so sweet
I just want to dip my feet
in that bubbling creek
making its way
through Paradise.
Did I make it?
Am I home?
Is my heartache and pain done?
Did I stay on the right path?
Did I plant seeds along the way?
Did I glorify you, my sweet Jesus?
Did I help the helpless,
give hope to the hopeless,
love the unlovable
and forgive the unforgivable?
I know I strayed a time or two or three.
But, my sweet Jesus, are you proud of me?

PSALM 19:14

MAY THESE WORDS OF MY MOUTH AND THIS MEDITATION OF MY HEART BE PLEASING IN YOUR SIGHT, LORD, MY ROCK AND MY REDEEMER.

COMMITTED

UNDERSTANDING
AND SOLOMON WISDOM.
THESE ARE THE THINGS FOR WHICH I PRAY.
TO BE ABLE TO COMFORT AND SAY
THE RIGHT THING,
THE GODLY THING;
FOR JESUS' LIGHT TO SHINE THROUGH ME.
TO BE A BEACON TO THE LOST,
A LOVING HAND TO THE HURTING,
AND TO FORGIVE THE UNFORGIVEABLE.
JESUS, PLEASE MAKE ME MORE LIKE YOU.
MAY OTHERS THAT SEE ME
SEE YOU INSTEAD.
I DO NOT WISH FOR SILVER OR GOLD,
FOR EARTHLY TREASURES SHALL SOON FADE AWAY.
I ONLY WISH TO FOLLOW YOUR WILL
AND NEVER AGAIN
TO BE SWALLOWED BY THAT BIG FISH.
AS I GO ABOUT MY DAY TODAY,
MAY OTHERS WONDER WHY I'M SMILING
AND MAY MY SMILE PUT A SMILE
ON THEIR FACE AS WELL.
MAY I HOLD MY TONGUE
IF SOMEONE IS RUDE
AND RETURN THEIR RUDENESS
WITH YOUR PEACE AND JOY.
MAY I BE A WOMAN AFTER YOUR OWN HEART,
MY LORD, MY ROCK AND MY REDEEMER.
I COMMIT MYSELF TO YOU.

PROVERBS 16:3  COMMIT TO THE LORD WHATEVER YOU DO, AND HE WILL ESTABLISH YOUR PLANS.

CALVARY

OKAY, I MUST ADMIT
I AM HAVING A HARD TIME
PLACING A SMILE ON MY FACE.
I MEAN, WE STILL HAVE TO FIND A PLACE.
STUDYING THE BOOK OF PROVERBS, THOUGH,
REMINDS ME THAT ALL I HAVE TO DO
IS PRAY FOR UNDERSTANDING AND WISDOM.
THAT'S IT.
NOT SILVER NOR GOLD.
GOD WILL GIVE IT TO US IN ABUNDANCE -
WISDOM AND UNDERSTANDING I MEAN
IF WE JUST ASK HIM.
SO HERE I LIE ON MY BED
FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF YET AGAIN
BECAUSE OF MY EARTHLY FAMILY.
SO, MY SWEET JESUS,
I PRAY FOR SOLOMON WISDOM,
THE PEACE THAT SURPASSES ALL UNDERSTANDING,
THE UNDERSTANDING TO FORGIVE,
AND THE HOPE TO MOVE FORWARD,
TO STAY ON THIS PATH YOU HAVE SET BEFORE ME.
HELP OTHERS TO SEE YOU INSTEAD OF ME
SHINING THROUGH THIS EMPTY VESSEL.
MOLD ME, SHAPE ME,
PURIFY ME THROUGH THE FIRE.
FOR I KNOW EACH DAY BRINGS ME CLOSER TO YOU,
MY KING, MY MAKER.
DON'T GIVE UP ON ME.
FOR NO MATTER THIS CRUSHED AND BROKEN
AND BRUISED HEART,
I SHALL NEVER GIVE UP ON YOU,
MY SWEET JESUS.
THANK YOU FOR CALVARY
AND SETTING ME FREE.






MATTHEW 27:51  AT THAT MOMENT THE CURTAIN OF THE TEMPLE WAS TORN IN TWO FROM TOP TO BOTTOM. THE EARTH SHOOK, THE ROCKS SPLIT.

AGAIN, WHY ME?

I JUST WANT TO RUN AWAY
AND HIDE IN THE SHADOW
AND COMFORT OF YOUR LOVING WINGS,
MY SWEET JESUS,
LIKE, TODAY, RIGHT THIS SECOND.
PRETTY PLEASE.
YOU SEE, I MUST CONFESS, I AM AFRAID
OF WHAT YOU ARE ASKING OF ME.
IT SEEMS A LITTLE INSANE.
CAN'T YOU PICK SOMEONE ELSE?
WHY ME?
DON'T YOU REMEMBER WHAT THEY CALLED ME?
HOW CAN I GET OVER IT?
I AM THE LEAST OF THE LEAST,
THE WEAKEST OF THE WEAK.
WHAT YOU ARE ASKING OF ME
SEEMS LIKE AN IMPOSSIBLE DREAM.
YES, I WANT TO DO IT.
I'M EXCITED AT THE THOUGHT.
BUT, REALLY,
WHY ME?
I CAN BARELY WALK OR SIT OR STAND,
AND THAT UGLY THING
MIGHT AS WELL BE TATTOOED ON MY HEART.
WAIT, I THINK IT IS.
BUT SO IS YOUR WORD,
AND YOU CALL ME BEAUTIFUL
AND THE APPLE OF YOUR EYE
AND YOUR DAUGHTER.
SO THAT MAKES ME A PRINCESS TWICE OVER.
O, DID I FORGET TO MENTION
MY ANCESTOR WAS THE FIRST KING OF SCOTLAND?
YES, I THINK I HAVE.
BUT I BELIEVE THAT FACT IS WORTH REPEATING,
AS IS THE FACT THAT I AM A DAUGHTER
OF THE MOST HIGH KING.
SO I WILL GLORY IN MY SUFFERINGS,
RAISING MY HANDS HIGH IN SUPPLICATION,
NEVER ASHAMED TO SAY YOUR NAME.
AND THANK YOU, MY SWEET JESUS,
FOR HEALING ME ENOUGH
TO DANCE LIKE DAVID DID.
AGAIN,
NOT ASHAMED.
AND TO QUOTE MYSELF,
"HOLD ON 'CUZ IT'S GONNA BE A BUMPY RIDE."
BE CAREFUL
WHAT YOU PRAY FOR.
IT JUST MIGHT HAPPEN
IN GOD'S TIMING.
BUT WHEN IT SEEMS AS IF IT IS TAKING FOREVER
FOR YOUR PARTICULAR PRAYER TO BE ANSWERED,
WHEN IT HAPPENS, WHEN YOUR PRAYER
IS ANSWERED, IT'S A LITTLE SCARY
BECAUSE YOU JUST MIGHT FEEL AS IF
YOU ARE ON THAT ROCKING BOAT
WITH PETER OR JOHN
AND ASKED BY JESUS TO STEP OUT OF THAT BOAT
AND WALK ON THE STORMY SEA.
REALLY, MY SWEET JESUS?
AGAIN,
WHY ME?

2 CORINTHIANS 12:9 - BUT HE SAID TO ME, "MY GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR YOU, FOR MY POWER IS MADE PERFECT IN WEAKNESS." THERERFORE I WILL BOAST ALL THE MORE GLADLY ABOUT MY WEAKNESSES, SO THAT CHRIST'S POWER MAY REST ON ME.

SILLY WEEDS

I NO LONGER WISH TO BE SWALLOWED
BY THAT BIG FISH
BY GIVING A FLEETING THOUGHT
TO THOSE WEEDS THAT PROUDLY SIT
AMONGST THE WHEAT.
THE WOLVES AMONGST THE SHEEP SO TO SPEAK.
THEY DON'T BELONG.
AND JESUS KNOWS EVERYTHING.
I THINK I AM FINALLY STARTING TO UNDERSTAND
PROVERBS 4:23.
HOW DO I GUARD MY HEART?
FOR STARTERS, FORGIVE AND FORGET.
FORGETTING IS THE HARD THING.
LETTING GO OF THOSE HURTS YOU HAVE HELD ON TO FOR SO MANY YEARS.
THEY'VE ALMOST BECOME YOUR FRIENDS.
WHAT GOOD ARE THEY DOING YOU REALLY?
IT'S JUST THE ENEMY,
GOD SAYING - "HAVE YOU CONSIDERED
MY SERVANT SHERRIE?",
I SAY HOPEFULLY.
THIS UNFORGIVENESS AND NOT FORGETTING
IS, IN ACTUALITY,
HURTING ME MORE THAN THE WEEDS.
IN FACT, I DON'T THINK THEY ARE BEING
HURT AT ALL.
LOOK HOW FAST THEY ARE GROWING.
BUT ME?
I BEAT MYSELF UP ON A DAILY BASIS.
I WANT TO PLEASE MY SWEET JESUS
MORE THAN ANYTHING.
WHY ADD ANOTHER SIN ON HIM?
HASN'T HE PAID ENOUGH,
PAINFULLY BLEEDING PROFUSELY ON THAT CROSS?
HE SAYS HIMSELF IN HIS WORD,
IF YOU'D TAKE A MINUTE OUT OF YOUR BUSY
SCHEDULE TO READ,
THAT THERE WILL BE WEEDS AND WOLVES
AND THINGS THAT GO BUMP IN THE NIGHT.
BUT TO NEVER BE AFRAID,
FOR HIS ANGELS AND HIS HOLY SPIRIT
SURROUND US
AND HE LIVES IN ME.
MY SWEET JESUS,
HOW I LOVE THEE
EVEN AMONGST THESE SILLY WEEDS.


PROVERBS 4:23 -- ABOVE ALL ELSE, GUARD YOUR HEART, FOR EVERYTHING YOU DO FLOWS FROM IT.


MATTHEW 13:26 -- WHEN THE WHEAT SPROUTED AND FORMED HEADS, THEN THE WEEDS ALSO APPEARED.

QUACK QUACK

IF I AM TO FORGIVE,
WHICH I MUST IF I AM TO CONTINUE TO LIVE,
TO CONTINUE ON THIS PATH
GOD SET BEFORE ME
BEFORE I WAS EVEN ME,
THIS QUEST
THAT HAS A REWARD AT THE END.
I CAN JUST SEE HIM - MY SWEET JESUS.
YOU SEE,
UNFORGIVENESS ONLY HURTS ME.
I THINK I UNDERSTAND THAT SCRIPTURE NOW,
AT LEAST A LITTLE,
PROVERBS FOUR TWENTY THREE:
"GUARD YOUR HEART,
FOR EVERTHING YOU DO FLOWS FROM IT."
FORGIVE, LET THAT SIN OF OTHERS,
THE HURT, THE PAIN,
THE BURDEN IN YOUR
HEART, ON YOUR SHOULDERS,
ROLL OFF YOUR BACK
LIKE WATER OFF OF A DUCK.
EVEN SENSITIVE ME,
WHO WEARS HER HEART ON HER SLEEVE,
AM TRYING HARD TO GUARD MY HEART
BECAUSE IT IS ALREADY STILL SO CRUSHED
AND SCARRED
AND HURT AND JUST WANTING TO BE LOVED
FOR ME
BY FORGIVING THOSE I FEEL HAVE HURT ME
IN ANY WAY
BECAUSE YOU KNOW
THOSE PEOPLE
HAVE LONG AGO
FORGOTTEN WHAT THEY DID,
THE PAIN THEY INFLICTED
THAT HAS STAYED WITH ME FOR DECADES.
AND I AM STILL BEING BLAMED.
SO IN ORDER TO CONTINUE ON THIS QUEST,
TO LET THIS HURT ROLL OFF OF MY BACK,
LIKE WATER OFF OF A DUCK,
I MUST FORGIVE AND WIPE MY FEET
AND MOVE ON.
JUST MAKE A CLEAN CUT.
AND REMEMBER THAT IT IS NOT MY FAULT.
JESUS LOVES ME, THIS I KNOW,
FOR THE BIBLE TELLS ME SO.
AND IT IS WELL WITHIN MY SOUL.




PSALM 19:14 - MAY THESE WORDS OF MY MOUTH AND THIS MEDITATION OF MY HEART BE PLEASING IN YOUR SIGHT, LORD, MY ROCK AND MY REDEEMER.

NO, I'M NOT JUDGING

I MUST CONFESS,
I HAVE BEEN ATTENDING THIS CHURCH
BECAUSE OF THE PARTICULAR PASTOR THERE -
A VERY WELL-KNOWN PARTICULARMAN
IN THIS PARTICULAR CHRISTIAN COMMUNITY.
AT FIRST, I WAS EXCITED - WOW! GREG LAURIE?
REALLY?
WOW! I THOUGHT, AS I SAT WAY IN THE BACK,
SECTION Z,
LEPROSY COLONY,
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE HANDICAPPED ZONE.
I WAS SOON TO LEARN THAT THE FIRST SEVEN
ROWS OR SO ARE RESERVED FOR THE USHERS
AND THEIR FAMILIES AND THEIR BESTIES.
WAIT, I THOUGHT TO MYSELF,
ISN'T THAT A LITTLE BASS-ACKWARDS,
AS MY GRANDDADDY WOULD SAY?
AND WHEN AN USHER NAMED JEFF YELLED
AT ME FOR WANTING TO SIT CLOSER
SO I COULD READ THE WORDS OF THE SONGS
ON THE VERY LARGE MONITORS,
A HARD THING TO DO
FROM THE LEPROSY COLONY
WITH EVERYONE IN THE GINORMOUS CHURCH
STANDING UP ALL AROUND YOU.
AND, BTW, PRAISING MY SWEET JESUS
IS MY FAVORITE THING TO DO.
AND THEN, ON A WEDNESDAY NIGHT,
WANTING SOME MEAT IN MY LIFE,
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS LEARNING MORE
AND MORE AND MORE
ABOUT MY LORD,
THE THREE USHERS LAUGHED AT ME
WHEN I ASKED IF I COULD SIT
WITHIN SPITTING DISTANCE.
AND DO YOU KNOW THAT MY BEST FRIEND
IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE
SAT IN THAT CHURCH
FOR TWO ENTIRE YEARS
ALL BY HER BEAUTIFUL SELF
WITH NO ONE SPEAKING TO HER?
AND I HAD FELT BAD THAT I HAD SAT
THERE FOR A YEAR WITHOUT MAKING FRIENDS.
WHAT KIND OF CHURCH IS THIS?
THE PASTOR HAS THESE BIG STADIUM-SIZED
FOR LACK OF A BETTER WORD REVIVALS.
AND ALL OF THESE PEOPLE COME FORWARD
TO ASK JESUS INTO THEIR HEARTS
AND INVITED TO HARVEST TO GET TO KNOW MORE
ABOUT OUR LORD.
BUT IF THEY DO DECIDE TO COME THERE,
WILL THEY CONTINUE THEIR QUEST
OF HAPPINESS
OR JUST GIVE UP OUT OF LONLINESS?
WILL SOMEONE WHO THINKS HE IS SPECIAL
BECAUSE HE IS A HEAD USHER
YELL AT A HURTING SOUL
FOR NO OTHER REASON
THAN THAT THEY ARE DISABLED?
WHAT HAVE WE COME TO?
IF JESUS WALKED INTO THAT CHURCH.
WOULD HE BE TURNED AWAY?
IT SAYS CLEARLY IN GOD'S WORD
THAT WE ARE NOT TO ATTEND A CHURCH
JUST BECAUSE OF SOME 'FAMOUS' PASTOR.
THE QUESTION IS, MY SWEET JESUS,
WHY MUST I REMAIN?
HOW AM I, ONE PERSON, TO CHANGE
THIS POWERFUL ENTITY
KNOWN AS GREG LAURIE?
BUT I SHALL STAND
AS BEST I CAN,
MY PEACE SIGN FLYING FREELY,
AND MY HANDS RAISED HIGH IN PRIDE
OF BEING YOUR BRIDE.
NOT AFRAID.
AND CERTAINLY NOT ASHAMED
TO SAY YOUR NAME.
MY SWEET JESUS.






1 CORINTHIANS 1:11-17 -- MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS, SOME FROM CHLOE'S HOUSEHOLD HAVE INFORMED ME THAT THERE ARE QUARRELS AMON YOU.  WHAT I MEAN IS THIS: ONE OF YOU SAYS, "I FOLLOW PAUL"; ANOTHER, "I FOLLOW APOLLOS"; ANOTHER, "I FOLLOW CEPHAS"; STILL ANOTHER, "I FOLLOW CHRIST." IS CHRIST DIVIDED? WAS PAUL CRUCIFIED FOR YOU? WERE YOU BAPTIZED IN THE NAME OF PAUL? I THANK GOD THAT I DID NOT BAPTIZE ANY OF YOU EXCEPT CRISPUS AND GAIUS, SO NO ONE CAN SAY THAT YOU WERE BAPTIZED IN MY NAME. (YES, I ALSO BAPTIZED THE HOUSEHOLD OF STEPHANAS; BEYOND THAT, I DON'T REMEMBER IF I BAPTIZED ANYONE ELSE.) FOR CHRIST DID NOT SEND ME TO BAPTIZE, BUT TO PREACH THE GOSPEL -- NOT WITH WISDOM AND ELOQUENCE, LEST THE CROSS OF CHRIST BE EMPTIED OF ITS POWER.