WEAK (UPDATED WITH PICTURE AND SCRIPTURE NOT TO MENTION TITLE)

Discouragement and disappointment 
comes

when you become so tired that it seems
 so much easier to turn on the television rather than to open His word.

Illness has weakened my strength, 
most unfortunately,
and my eyesight, 
and that doesn't want to go away
pride 
stands in the way of asking for someone to help me stay on the path.

I don't want to stray.

Pride is a bad thing.

It kept me out of a wheelchair when my body became too weak to stand on its own.

I allowed shame to betray me 
along with the pitiful stares of the unknown,

when all along I could have been 
giving God all of the glory.

To be perfectly honest, 
it's not easy to be kind now, to return the stares with words of encouragement and love.

It's hard to say "God loves you" when you miss the healthier days, the days when you could swim for hours almost every day.

But was that really giving God glory;

blinded by my perfect swimming, 
secretly showing off, 
enjoying every second of it, to the point of exhaustion?

Isn't God getting the glory now 
by my writing that comes from my illness? 
You can never convince me 
that it has not been His divine power that the poems that God has given to me by divine inspiration have spread into 
well over 60 countries by now. 
(I've lost count.)
I could never
 have done that on my own.
 And it never would have happened 
if I had continued by being blinded 
by my self indulgence.

God is good,

I am blessed,
wheelchair and knee stabilizer and crutches
and all that.

Ae

ISAIAH 40:29

HE GIVES STRENGTH TO THE WEARY

AND INCREASES THE POWER OF THE WEAK.