UNCEASINGLY PRAY (UPDATED)

All these years.
a decade.
If I had only known
 it would be so long.
I miss you,
Sara Beara,
and I miss the sweet smell
of your
long
dark
 silky hair,
the sweet sound of your angelic voice
singing,
praising our King. 

My heart is still so torn,

broken in two,

blood running blue.

Every day I pray for the same thing,

for you to want me as your mother again,

for us to be best friends,
for you to finally let me in.
Please forgive me
for whatever I've done or said
that makes you dread me.

I say what I pray I should say,

at least I hope I do,

just as I pray to follow God's will
each and every day.
Unceasingly
on my knees. 
Well, metaphorically,

because that's the only way

I know I will have the joy

of having you back in my life once again. 

And I'm done waiting
because I want it
yesterday.
The end. 

I THESSALONIANS 5:16-18

REJOICE ALWAYS,

PRAY CONTINUALLY,

GIVE THANKS IN ALL CIRCUMSTANCES'

FOR THIS IS GOD'S WILL FOR YOU

IN CHRIST JESUS

TRAPPED NO MORE (UPDATED)

IS THIS WHERE I AM SUPPOSED TO BE?

FEELING TRAPPED AND UNNOTICED,

THIS DEFINITELY ISN'T FOR ME.

WHY CAN'T YOU LEAD ME

TO THE CHURCHES OF OLD?

YOU REMEMBER THE ONES

WHERE AUNT MONA PLAYED THE PIANO

WHILE I WAS FERVENTLY PRAYING FOR MY GRANDFATHER

TO END HIS SERMON
AND HOPING THAT NO ONE COULD HEAR MY STOMACH GROWLING.

LORD, I WOULD BEG GOD,
PLEASE LET GRANDFATHER BE DONE
JUST A LITTLE EARLY
SO I COULD GO FROLIC IN THE WARM TEXAS SUN.

AND, LORD JESUS, I KNOW YOU KNOW MY PRAYER -

TO HELP THOSE HURTING, IN NEED OF CARE.

WHEN I STARTED WRITING POETRY ABOUT THE REASON I'M IN PAIN,

I SET A GOAL FOR MYSELF - JUST TO HELP ONE OTHER PERSON WHO ALSO SUFFERED.
THE DARKNESS,
THE RAIN,
THE CLOUDS,
AND WORST OF ALL,
THE RUMBLE OF THE THUNDER.
AND EACH INDIVIDUAL THAT READS WHAT I WRITE,
PLACES A FIRE IN MY HEART
THAT WILL NOT GO OUT.
SO ONE OR SIXTY-FIVE THOUSAND*,
IT'S ALL FOR THE LORD,
BECAUSE THIS THING THAT I DO - 
SHINING THE LIGHT IN THE DARKNESS -
REALLY DOES BRING PEACE TO MY SOUL.

PHILIPPIANS 4:7

AND THE PEACE OF GOD,
WHICH TRANSCENDS ALL UNDERSTANDING,
WILL GUARD YOUR HEARTS AND YOUR MINDS
IN CHRIST JESUS.

*THIS CLOSE TO 78,000, PRAISE GOD! THANK YOU TO ALL WHO ARE READING WHAT I WRITE. I WILL KEEP YOU IN MY PRAYERS.  AND COULD YOU PLEASE PRAY FOR MY PRODIGAL DAUGHTER  MAY YOU ALL BE BLESSED.

MARCH FORTH (UPDATED)

PLEASE, SWEET JESUS,

COULD YOU OPEN THAT DOOR,

THE ONE I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOREVER FOR.

JUST A GLIMPSE

OF THE BRIGHT SUNSHINE

ESCAPING INTO THE DARKNESS OUT SIDE.

I FEEL AS IF

I'VE BEEN WALKING IN YOUR PATH.

AND I HONESTLY ADMIT,

I HAVE SLIPPED UP

TOO MANY TIMES TO COUNT.

BUT YOU, GOD'S SON, SACRIFICED YOUR LIFE;

CRIMSON BLOOD FLOWING FREELY,

FORGIVING ME MY SINS EVEN BEFORE I WAS BORN.

YOU KNEW I WOULD BE HERE RIGHT NOW,

SITTING IN MY BED,

TRYING TO OPEN MY HEART

TO THOSE IN DISTRESS OR HURT.

IF, LIKE ME, YOUR FAMILY

HAS REJECTED YOU 'CUZ YOU REFUSE TO BE A PART

OF THIS MARCH TOWARDS BOREDOM,

MAKE A STAND FOR JESUS,

AND YOU WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN.

ROMANS 5:1  Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we[a] have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we[b] boast in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we[c] also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit,who has been given to us.

Restart

Today is a new chance at happiness.

And, to be honest, which I am, if you haven't been able to yet
understand.

It more than fervently states
in God's Word,

that our Heavenly Father will give us our greatest desires,
treasures full,
much more than we deserve.
But much unlike our earthly fathers
who just seemed happiest
whilst doing other things,
especially if it did not include spending time with the children
(above all else, self).

And as far as my reference to our greatest desires,
I was speaking of agape' peace and 
only known how to be given by God
above.
To reiterate:
the only one capable of doing this
is Jesus.
I cannot change the flesh wounds and the loneliness from the past,

but God can erase it all
and even go so far as to give me a brand new beginning.
I can hardly wait for that auspicious restart.

Psalm 37:4 - Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.

NO MATTER THE COST (ADDED SCRIPTURE)

INFRINGEMENT,
A BREACH OF TRUST.
IF ANYONE KNOWS WHAT THAT'S LIKE,
THEN IT'S ME FROM A POINT OF DISPARITY.
BLESSEDLY,
JESUS HAS BROUGHT ME THROUGH
THE WORST OF THE STORMS,
DRENCHED TO THE BONES.
BUT CLEANSED AS WELL,
SIN WASHED AWAY,
THE BLOOD OF JESUS CAN CLEANSE ANY SOUL
IF YOU JUST LET YOUR HOLD. ON THE WORLD LET GO.
I'VE NOT HAD IT EASY,
BEEN HURT BY MY MOM AND DAD;
TOLD HOW STUPID I WAS CONSTANTLY
BY THE ENTIRE FAMILY,
MADE UP OF SO MANY PEOPLE
I'VE LOST COUNT.
SO GROWING UP A NOTHING,
INVISIBLE TO MOST,
AND THEN FINDING PURPOSE IN THE LORD,
IT'S SUCH A BLESSING AND RUSH,
THERE IS NOTHING TO COMPARE TO THE LOVE OF GOD,
AS LONG AS YOU ARE WILLING TO LISTEN, TRUST AND OBEY
NO MATTER THE COST.

PROVERBS 3:5-6

TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART AND LEAN NOT TO YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING; IN ALL YOUR WAYS ACKNOWLEDGE HIM, AND HE WILL MAKE YOUR PATHS STRAIGHT

KEEP THE FAITH

 I WISH I COULD SAIL

ALL THE SEVEN SEAS,

AND SPREAD THE GOSPEL
THROUGHOUT THE GLOBE,

BECOME A MISSIONARY.

OTHERS IN MY FAMILY

HAVE PLANTED CHURCHES EVERYWHERE,

BUT HERE I AM STUCK,
SUFFERING THE CONSEQUENCES
JUST BECAUSE I HAVE A DESIRE TO HELP STRANGERS IN NEED,
OR SO I BELIEVE,.
DOES THAT CONSTITUTE A DESIRE TO BE RECOGNIZED
FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE?

AND IN THIS COURSE OF SO-CALLED BRAVERY,
I WRECKED MY BACK.
AND THEN AGAIN MOST RECENTLY.

I GUESS MY POINT IS NOT TO GIVE UP.
DESPITE YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES,
FOR WHERE WOULD I BE NOW
IF I HAD THROWN IN THE TOWEL?

ISAIAH 40:31 - BUT THOSE WHO HOPE IN THE LORD WILL RENEW THEIR STRENGTH.THEY WILL SOAR LIKE WINGS ON EAGLES; THEY WILL RUN AND NOT GROW WEARY, THEY WILL WALK AND NOT BE FAINT.

FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT (UPDATED)

IT'S A NEW DAY,
SO I MAKE A PROMISE TO MYSELF
TO NOT DWELL ON THE UNKNOWN.
TODAY WE SEE THROUGH A GLASS DARKLY,
LIKE SOME KIND OF WARPED MIRROR,
BUT SOON ENOUGH
GOD WILL REVEAL THE TRUTH.
UNTIL THEN, WE ABSOLUTELY MUST SPRINKLE SEEDS
ON THOSE WHO ARE LOST AND IN NEED.
THERE ARE SO MANY HUNGRY,
SO MANY POOR,
SO MANY HOMELESS.
WHY DO WE PUT UP WITH IT?
FOR ALL YOU KNOW,
THAT DISHEVELED PERSON
WHO IS BEGGING FOR HELP
MAY BE AN ANGEL IN DISGUISE.
DON'T FORGET THAT BOTH ANGELS AND OUR ENEMIES
SURROUND US AT ALL TIMES.
A BATTLE IS RAGING OVERHEAD.
SO DO YOUR SPIRITUAL WARFARE,
STAY ON YOUR TOES,
WATCH OUT FOR THE UNEXPECTED,
AND NEVER WORRY FOR GOD IS IN CONTROL
AND HIS MIGHTIEST ANGELS
SURROUND US,
AS WELL AS THE BLOOD OF JESUS

EPHESIANS 6:10-19

EVERYTHING (UPDATED)

Don't go where you want,

so you can hear what you want to hear.

Don't find a place

where you can easily disappear.

Go some where
where you can hear His word

and sing praises to our Lord.

Please don't go where you can easily get lost in the crowd.

Don't go somewhere

just to follow a man.

Go where you can follow our Lord.

Prosperity does not equal victory.

Yes, our God wants us blessed.

But not to the point

where we set ourselves above our God

or place Him on a dusty shelf.

Jesus is pure,

Jesus is our everything.

Jesus is our one and only King.

JOHN 3:16

Don't be afraid

Discouraged,

hurting,

just one more thing.

Diagnosed

with a new illness.

What does this all mean?

Have I not done enough?

Have I yet to pay the cost?

Tired of arguing

the same thing.

Why can't others see

that our time here

is running down?

The clock is ticking,

and soon Jesus will be returning.

All the signs are there,

the prophecies have been fulfilled,

just check His word.

We need to be vigilant,

watch the skies,

pray for revival.

Don't be afraid to spread some seeds

to those in need

of love and caring.

Let them know

there is a better life.

above the clouds,

beyond the horizon.

Share God's love,

so no one goes

to hell.

UNCONDITIONAL (RVD)

ALL I WANT IS TO BE NOTICED,

FOR GOD TO OPEN A DOOR.

MOST OF MY LIFE

I'VE FELT INVISIBLE,

SHOVED INTO THE NEAREST

LOCKED CLOSET OR DANK CORNER.

ACCORDING TO MY PARENTS AND SIBLING,

I HAD ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO BRING

TO LIFE

UNLESS I WANTED TO BE BLAMED

FOR ALL OF THE FIGHTING

AND STRIFE.

NOW I'VE GONE,

AM NOT ALONE,

BUT STILL I FEEL A LITTLE NUDGE,

HINTING THAT I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

I AM REMINDED, THOUGH,

THAT I'M PART OF A BIGGER FAMILY,

AND

I

AM

UNCONDITIONALLY

LOVED.

PSALM 13:6

I WILL SING THE LORDS PRAISE,

FOR HE HAS BEEN GOOD TO ME.

MY WISH (rvd)

My wish,

my wish,

for today,

this day,

is for you, Lord,

to open a window

in your own way.

When I first started this journey,

so many years ago,

my prayer is that you would touch

just one needy, lonely and lovelorn soul.

And now you've stretched that one

into many thousands.

Not for my glory,

but for yours,

in hopes that your realm

would increase many fold.

I know that these are not my words,

and I pray that they come from your throne.

For who am I without you?

Alone.

USE ME (RVD)

EVERYWHERE,

PAIN IS THERE.

AT LEAST THE DEAR

TRIES TO GREET ME

CHEERFULLY

EACH AND EVERY MORNING.

(NOTE TO SELF: NEXT TIME, JUST PRETEND YOU'RE ASLEEP.)

BUT IS IT REALLY ASKING TOO MUCH

FOR THIS PAIN-FILLED FRIEND

TO JUST DISAPPEAR

AS IF IT HAD NEVER BEEN THERE?

OKAY,

YES,

I HAVE TO HAVE A THORN IN MY SIDE,

MY MUSE OR WHATEVER

SO I KEEP WRITING NOT TO MENTION PLANTING SEEDS.

BUT COULD YOU HAVE NOT TAKEN YOUR TIME

TO PICK A MUCH SMALLER THORN

FROM A MUCH SMALLER TREE?

I SUPPOSE SUCH A STUBBORN PERSON

ISN'T EASILY SWAYED.

AGREED?

LORD,

CHANGE ME.

DON'T GIVE UP PLEASE (RVD)

THERE IS NOTHING

YOU CANNOT DO

WITHOUT THE LORD'S HELP,

SITTING UNDER HIS WINGS,

SHELTERED FROM THE SCARY STORMS

THAT SEEM TO, WITHOUT WARNING,

CONSTANTLY COME

AND FLOOD OUR HOME.

JESUS CALLS

US 

BEAUTIFUL,

THE APPLE OF HIS EYE.

HE HAS PROMISED US

HE WOULD NOT

ASK US TO DO

ANYTHING

HE ALREADY HAS NOT DONE HIMSELF.

NOTHING OR NO ONE

IS BEYOND

GOD'S LOVE.

YES,

I SUFFER FROM SEVERE CHRONIC

BACK PAIN

FOR YEARS NOW.

BUT THAT DOESN'T STOP MY WRITING SPREADING INTO COUNTRIES AND PEOPLES I HAVE NEVER SEEN.

MY PRAYER, LORD, THOUGH

HAS BEEN THIS:

IF I COULD HELP JUST ONE OTHER BEREFT SOLEMN OPEN SOLE,

THEN MY RACE WAS OVER.

BUT, AS YOUR WORD SAYS,

YOU, OUR CREATOR,

WANTS MUCH MORE

THAN WE WANT FOR OURSELELVES.

EVERY ONE OF GOD'S CHILDREN

HAS A PURPOSE IN THIS SHORT LIFE.

YOU,

BEING HERE,

 IS NOT BY CIRCUMSTANCE

OR, GOD FORBID ME,

BUT THIS THING WE CALL LUCK.

PLEASE,

I AM BEGGING YOU

NO MATTER WHAT 

DON'T GIVE IN

DON'T GIVE UP

FOR A RAINBOW AWAITS YOU

AT THE END.

PSALM 34:18

THE LORD IS CLOSE

TO THE BROKENHEARTED

AND SAVES THOSE

WHO ARE CRUSHED IN SPIRIT.

NOT LOST (RVD)

HERE I AM, LORD,

THE EXACT SAME ME

AS WHEN YOU LAST CHECKED IN.

LYING IN MY BED,

ADDICTED TO SOME TV SHOWS

THAT MOST DEFINITELY

DO NOT FEED MY SOUL.,

WILL THINGS EVER CHANGE,

OR WILL MY BODY HERE IN EARTH

JUST GET WORSE?

OF COURSE I STILL LOVE YOU, LORD.

I WOULD BE A FOOL TO NOT.

FOR WITHOUT YOUR LOVE

AND CLEANSING BLOOD

I

WOULD BE LOST.

SO I BEG YOU TO DELIVER ME

FROM THESE ADDICTIONS

SO THAT I MAY

DO YOUR WILL

AND BE CURED OF THESE AFFLICTIONS.

1 JOHN 1:7

BUT IF WE WALK IN THE LIGHT,

AS HE IS IN THE LIGHT,

WE HAVE FELLOWSHIP WITH ONE ANOTHER,

AND THE BLOOD OF JESUS,

HIS SON,

PURIFIES US FROM ALL SIN.

BUT FOR YOU (RVD)

STRESSED, FRUSTRATED
BY THE INSENSITIVITY
OF THOSE AROUND ME.
CAN'T THEY SEE
MY STRUGGLES AND CRIES,
MY DAILY GRIND?
JUST OPEN YOUR EYES.
HERE I LIE,
NOT QUITE HOPELESS IN MY BED,
WONDERING 
IF THINGS WILL EVER CHANGE.
WILL I BE THIS WAY FOREVER?
MY STRUGGLES BIND ME,
KEEP ME AWAY
FROM THIS RACE.
BUT I SHALL NEVER LET
MY SELF-DOUBTS AND EMPTINESS
INTERFERE
WITH YOUR GRACE.
FOR WHERE WOULD I BE
WITHOUT YOU?

ISAIAH 40:29 

HE GIVES STRENGTH TO THE WEARY

AND INCREASES 

THE POWER

OF THE WEEK