TRUSTING IS A HARD THING

YES, WE MUST
TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL OUR HEART.
THOSE WORDS ARE WRITTEN DEEP INSIDE OF ME.
BUT DOES KNOWING THIS HELP ME WHEN STRIFE
TRIES TO SNEAK BACK INTO MY LIFE,
CREEPS INTO MY DAY AND REFUSES TO GO AWAY?
NOPE, 'CUZ I'M A WORRY WART.
HAVE BEEN ALL MY LIFE.
I WORRY ABOUT NEARLY EVERYTHING
EVEN THOUGH MY SWEET JESUS IMPLORES ME
TO LET HIM CARRY ME, CARRY MY BURDENS.
SO HOW DO I DEAL WHEN EARTHLY WORRIES
TIE ME DOWN, NOT FEELING LIKE WRITING
OR POSTING MY THOUGHTS,
ALWAYS WONDERING IF ANYONE IS LISTENING?
WHY CAN'T I JUST LET GO AND LET GOD
AS OTHERS SAY?
WAS IT THE WAY I WAS RAISED,
MY FIRST MEMORY BEING OF COMING HOME FROM SCHOOL AND SEEING ALL THE OPEN BOXES IN THE KITCHEN AND WONDERING YET AGAIN IF MY DADDY
WAS COMING OR GOING;
NEVER REALLY FEELING SAFE AS A CHILD
BECAUSE OF ALL THE SCREAMING MATCHES
EVERY NIGHT,
THE PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE,
ALL OF THE NAME CALLING?
I STIL FIND IT DIFFICULT TO LOOK AT MYSELF IN THE MIRROR, STILL FEELING UGLY AS I WAS BROUGHT UP TO BELIEVE.
AND NOW I AM DISABLED AND NEED HELP
WITH NEARLY EVERYTHING.
SO I RELY ON MY SWEET JESUS, MY SWEET KING.
TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART AND LEAN NOT TO YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING.  IN ALL YOUR WAYS ACKNOWLEDGE HIM AND HE WILL MAKE YOUR PATHS STRAIGHT.
I KNOW THAT NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD,
MOST ESPECIALLY IF YOU INVITE HIM INTO YOUR LIFE.
LET GO AND LET GOD BE IN CONTROL.
PLEASE FORGIVE ME MY SWEET JESUS FOR MY UNBELIEF.
YOU SAY YOU USE THE WEAK TO CONFOUND THE STRONG,
SO USE THIS BROKEN BODY
FOR YOUR GLORY.
AND WHILE YOU ARE AT IT,
COULD YOU PLEASE GIVE ME THE WISDOM
OF SOLOMON?
AND, BTW, HAPPY BIRTHDAY
MY SWEET JESUS.
I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER.

PROVERBS 3:5-6-- TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART AND LEAN NOT ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING; IN ALL YOUR WAYS SUBMIT TO HIM, AND HE WILL MAKE YOUR PATHS STRAIGHT.

WHO ELSE?

I SEE FAMILY AND FRIENDS
WATCHING 👀 THEIR EARTHLY KINGDOMS
CRUMBLE LIKE THE WALLS OF JERICHO.
I USED TO PUT MY LOVE INTO JEWELRY
AND NICE CLOTHES AND OTHER THINGS.
BUT NOW THOSE THINGS DON'T MATTER
BECAUSE I KNOW THEY WON'T LAST.
IT'S SAD TO SEE THOSE I HAVE LOVED 💞
WATCH THEIR EARTHLY KINGDOMS FALL.
AND I TRY TO SHARE
MY SWEET JESUS WITH THEM,
PLANT SEEDS AS BEST I CAN.
BUT DO THEY LISTEN👂
EVEN THROUGH
THEIR HEARTACHE AND PAIN?
I HAVE A KINGDOM WAITING FOR ME IN HEAVEN
YOU KNOW --
ONE THAT WILL NEVER CRUMBLE OR FALL
BECAUSE I PUT MY LOVE AND TRUST
IN GOD'S STRONG HANDS.👏
WHO ELSE? ❤

PSALM 46:1-3 -- GOD IS OUR REFUGE AND STRENGTH, AN EVER-PRESENT HELP IN TROUBLE.  THEREFORE WE WILL NOT FEAR, THOUGH THE EARTH GIVE WAY AND THE MOUNTAINS FALL INTO TH HEART OF THE SEA, THOUGH ITS WATERS ROAR AND FOAM AND THE MOUNTAINS QUAKE WITH THEIR SURGING.

I'M NOT DONE YET

CHASTISED,
TWICE.
WHAT DO I DO?
SHOULD I CONTINUE
ON THIS PATH
MY LORD HAS SET BEFORE ME,
OR THROW MY HANDS UP AND GIVE UP,
WAVE THE WHITE FLAG,
SURRENDER?
I'VE DONE THAT BEFORE -
GIVEN UP ON GOD I MEAN
AND THINGS DIDN'T GO SO WELL
TO PUT IT MILDLY.
BUT MY HEART IS ACHING,
BLEEDING, CRUSHED.
YOU SEE, THE LARGE CHURCH I ATTEND
WANTS TO PUT US DISABLED PEOPLE
WAY IN THE BACK,
WHERE WE CANNOT SEE ANYTHING,
LOCKED UP AS IF IT IS SOME KIND OF LEPER COLONY.
REALLY?
YOU NOT ONLY MOCK MY SPIRITUAL GIFTS,
BUT DISCOURAGE ME FROM EVEN ATTENDING.
DO I KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT
AND JUST PUT UP WITH THESE NAYSAYERS?
THE THING IS
IS THAT I AM TIRED OF RUNNING, HIDING,
NOT SPEAKING UP
IN THE NAME OF THE LORD.
SO I SHALL PULL MY DISABLED CARD
AND CONTINUE TO SIT FRONT AND CENTER
SO I CAN READ THE WORDS OF THE UNFAMILIAR SONGS
ON THE LARGE SCREENS,
NOT HAVING TO WORRY ABOUT ANYONE
STANDING UP IN FRONT OF ME,
KEEPING ME FROM DOING WHAT I LIKE BEST --
PRAISING MY KING.


1 SAMUEL 15:22 -- WHAT IS MORE PLEASING TO THE LORD:  YOUR BURNT OFFERINGS AND SACRIFICES OR YOUR OBEDIENCE TO HIS VOICE? LISTEN! OBEDIENCE IS BETTER THAN SACRIFICE, AND SUBMISSION IS BETTER THAN OFFERING THE FAT OF RAMS.