TRUSTING IS A HARD THING

YES, WE MUST
TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL OUR HEART.
THOSE WORDS ARE WRITTEN DEEP INSIDE OF ME.
BUT DOES KNOWING THIS HELP ME WHEN STRIFE
TRIES TO SNEAK BACK INTO MY LIFE,
CREEPS INTO MY DAY AND REFUSES TO GO AWAY?
NOPE, 'CUZ I'M A WORRY WART.
HAVE BEEN ALL MY LIFE.
I WORRY ABOUT NEARLY EVERYTHING
EVEN THOUGH MY SWEET JESUS IMPLORES ME
TO LET HIM CARRY ME, CARRY MY BURDENS.
SO HOW DO I DEAL WHEN EARTHLY WORRIES
TIE ME DOWN, NOT FEELING LIKE WRITING
OR POSTING MY THOUGHTS,
ALWAYS WONDERING IF ANYONE IS LISTENING?
WHY CAN'T I JUST LET GO AND LET GOD
AS OTHERS SAY?
WAS IT THE WAY I WAS RAISED,
MY FIRST MEMORY BEING OF COMING HOME FROM SCHOOL AND SEEING ALL THE OPEN BOXES IN THE KITCHEN AND WONDERING YET AGAIN IF MY DADDY
WAS COMING OR GOING;
NEVER REALLY FEELING SAFE AS A CHILD
BECAUSE OF ALL THE SCREAMING MATCHES
EVERY NIGHT,
THE PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE,
ALL OF THE NAME CALLING?
I STIL FIND IT DIFFICULT TO LOOK AT MYSELF IN THE MIRROR, STILL FEELING UGLY AS I WAS BROUGHT UP TO BELIEVE.
AND NOW I AM DISABLED AND NEED HELP
WITH NEARLY EVERYTHING.
SO I RELY ON MY SWEET JESUS, MY SWEET KING.
TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART AND LEAN NOT TO YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING.  IN ALL YOUR WAYS ACKNOWLEDGE HIM AND HE WILL MAKE YOUR PATHS STRAIGHT.
I KNOW THAT NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD,
MOST ESPECIALLY IF YOU INVITE HIM INTO YOUR LIFE.
LET GO AND LET GOD BE IN CONTROL.
PLEASE FORGIVE ME MY SWEET JESUS FOR MY UNBELIEF.
YOU SAY YOU USE THE WEAK TO CONFOUND THE STRONG,
SO USE THIS BROKEN BODY
FOR YOUR GLORY.
AND WHILE YOU ARE AT IT,
COULD YOU PLEASE GIVE ME THE WISDOM
OF SOLOMON?
AND, BTW, HAPPY BIRTHDAY
MY SWEET JESUS.
I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER.

PROVERBS 3:5-6-- TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART AND LEAN NOT ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING; IN ALL YOUR WAYS SUBMIT TO HIM, AND HE WILL MAKE YOUR PATHS STRAIGHT.