EASIER SAID THAN DONE.
IT'S LIKE JUMPING OFF A CLIFF,
OR,
TO PUT IT LESS DRAMATICALLY,
(GASP! DID I JUST SAY 'LESS DRAMATICALLY'?
WHERE, O WHERE,
HAS THAT CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED
ACTOR GONE?)
TO REITERATE,
BECAUSE I, THE WRITER WRITING THIS, GOT A LITTLE CONFUSED AND LOST MY WAY THERE FOR A SEC:
STEPPING OUT IN FAITH
IS LIKE JUMPING OFF A CLIFF,
STEPPING WAAAYYY OUT
OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE.
BUT HOW ARE WE TO GROW
IF WE STAY WHERE WE ARE,
STAGNANT?
THIS IS ME:
LYING IN MY BED
DAY AFTER DAY,
TAKING IN TOO MUCH TV
AND NOT ENOUGH OF JESUS.
AND HAVING TOO MANY PITY PARTIES
WHERE I FORGET
TO ADD JESUS
TO THE LIST.
THIS
IS NOT,
QUITE FRANKLY,
GOOD
FOR ANYONE.
OKAY...WENT A LITTLE OFF TRACK THERE,
RAMBLING AS I AM WANT TO DO...
SO WHERE WAS I?
O, YES,
WE MUST
TRUST
THAT OUR FATHER
KNOWS WHAT HE IS DOING,
HAD OUR ENTIRE LIFE MAPPED OUT FOR US
FROM THE VERY BEGINNING
OF EVERYTHING.
IF YOU DON'T FIND THAT THOUGHT AMAZING,
THEN,
WHAT?
SO,
RAMBLING HERE SOME MORE.
MUST
JUST
BE THAT KINDA DAY.
IT HAPPENS WHEN I GO THROUGH A
PARTICULARY
AWFUL
GUT WRENCHING
TRIAL.
STILL REELING
FROM THE STING.
I AM NOT ASHAMED.
JESUS IS THE SAME TODAY,
YESTERDAY
AND TOMORROW.
IF YOU DON'T KNOW THAT BY NOW,
WELL, THEN,
I SUGGEST YOU READ A LITTLE MORE
OF GOD'S WORD.
DEVOTE MORE TIME TO HIM
THAN WHATEVER IT IS
THAT TAKES YOU AWAY
FROM OUR MAKER.
I WOULD SUGGEST,
IF YOU ARE A NEW BELIEVER,
TO NOT GO STRAIGHT FOR
THE (EXCUSE ME MY DEAR
SOUTHERN BAPTIST UNCLE)
KING JAMES VERSION.
ALL OF THOSE THEES AND THOUS,
WHATEVER,
ETC.
I, MYSELF,
WHEN I FIRST CAME BACK TO THE LORD,
CHOSE THE NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION
IN THE FORM OF A STUDY BIBLE,
WITH CONCORDANCE, MAPS,
WHATEVER YOU MIGHT NEED
TO EXPLORE
YOUR WONDERFUL NEW FAITH.
BUT IN THE PHYSICAL STATE
I NOW SO UNEXPECTEDLY
(I USED TO BE A LONG DISTANCE SWIMMER)
FIND MYSELF -
NOT ABLE TO WALK UNAIDED,
OR EVEN CARRY
THAT VERY LARGE,
YET FAVORITE STUDY BIBLE,
I DOWNLOADED A GREAT FREE APP
FOR MY I PHONE.
YOU CAN CHOOSE JUST ABOUT ANY VERSION,
AND IT HAS REFERENCES AND MAPS, ETC.
JUST A FRIENDLY SUGGESTION.
BUT I NOW PREFER MY NEW TABLET
CUZ I CAN HIGHLIGHT IN PURPLE. :)
I WAS ALSO ABLE TO DOWNLOAD
MY BLOG
ONTO MY PHONE
SO I CAN CHECK MY BLOG STATS
WITHOUT HAVING TO MOVE AS MUCH
IF I WERE TO USE MY LAPTOP INSTEAD.
YOU SEE,
WITH MY PARTICULAR INJURY,
ONCE I FIND A COMFORTABLE SPOT,
WHICH IS NOT AN EASY THING
FOR POOR MOI',
AND THEN HAVE TO MOVE EVEN ONE IOTA
OR EXPEND ANY ENERGY
COULD CAUSE A TWINGE
THAT COULD VERY EASILY
TURN INTO THIS
WHOLE THING....
WAKING UP EACH MORNING,
OR IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
WHEN MY SLEEP PATTERN IS OFF,
WHICH IS NINE TIMES OUT OF TEN
WHEN GOD SPEAKS TO ME.
(NO, I DON'T HEAR VOICES.
JUST GOD'S GENTLE QUIET VOICE
IN MY HEART AND SOUL)
I AM EAGER TO SEE IF ANYONE HAS READ
ANY OF MY POETRY,
BUT,
AT THE SAME TIME,
SCARED TO CHECK THE STATS,
KNOWING HOW SAD AND DOWN I WILL FEEL
IF NOT ONE PERSON HAS READ ANYTHING.
(HEY! US POETS ARE SENSITIVE,
DITTO US ACTORS.
AND DESPITE ALL OF THAT
TAUNTING AS A YOUNG GIRL,
I KNOW NOW,
THANK YOU JESUS,
THAT SENSITIVITY IS A GIFT.)
SO THIS IS WHERE,
BEFORE CHECKING MY STATS
SO TO SPEAK,
I DON'T PRAY, AS I KNOW I SHOULD.
O, NO,
DEAR SHERRIE HERE
MAKES A DEAL WITH HER SWEET DADDY:
IF AT LEAST ONE PERSON
HAS NOT YET READ ANYTHING
THAT I HAVE TAKEN MY PRECIOUS TIME,
NOT TO MENTION ENERGY,
TO WRITE,
SPILL MY SOUL,
THEN I JUST MIGHT NOT WRITE
OR UPDATE ANYTHING THAT DAY.
STOMP MY FOOT AND CRY.
WHY, O WHY,
SHOULD I,
I ASK HIM,
GET UP AND DRESSED
(DID I MENTION I BLOG ON YOUTUBE?)
IF NO ONE IS INTERESTED
IN MY THOUGHTS,
WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH
OR HAVE SUFFERED IN THE PAST,
MOST ESPECIALLY
WHAT HAPPENED JUST LAST WEEK,
IF NO ONE REACHES BACK TO ME
IN COMFORT?
OR EVEN JUST KNOW
THAT AT LEAST ONE PERSON
OUT THERE IN THE UNIVERSE
IS HELPED
WHEN I OPEN MY SOUL
AND SHARE MY BLOODY,
CRUSHED,
BROKEN,
NOT QUITE TORN IN HALF
BRUISED HEART.
(CAN YOU TELL
I LOVE
ADJECTIVES?)
BUT IF AT LEAST ONE PERSON
HAS READ SOMETHING,
THEN THAT IS AN ANSWERED PRAYER.
CUZ WHEN I FIRST STARTED
THIS WHOLE DIARY THING,
MY PRAYER WAS,
THAT IF I COULD HELP JUST ONE OTHER PERSON
SOMEWHERE,
ANYWHERE,
THAT HAS BEEN HURT IN SOME WAY
BY SOMEONE THEY LOVE,
LET THEM KNOW NOT ONLY DO I CARE,
BUT,
MORE IMPORTANTLY,
JESUS LOVES THEM
AND HAS AND ALWAYS WILL
BE BY THEIR SIDE,
THEN MY JOB WAS DONE.
BUT GOD SAID, NO, SHERRIE,
I HAVE MUCH MORE
IN STORE
FOR YOU.
OKAY,
WOW,
MUST BE 'OFF ON A TANGENT DAY'
FOR SHERRIE.
LET'S MARK IT ON OUR CALENDARS
AND MAKE IT A HOLIDAY.
K?
SO,
WHAT WAS I SAYING?
O, YES,
ABOUT HAVING THIS CRAZY GIFT
CALLED PROPHECY.
BTW,
PROPHECY SOUNDS LIKE FUN,
BUT IT'S NOT,
ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES IN THE FORM
OF SCARY NIGHTMARES.
ANYWAY, YEP,
GO AHEAD.
LOCK ME UP,
THROW AWAY THE KEY,
'CUZ,
QUITE FRANKLY,
I COULD USE A VACA.
AT LEAST THE PROPHECIES NO LONGER
COME IN THE FORM OF A NIGHTMARE,
MORE SO IN A COOL VISION.
I CAN'T RECEIVE THEM
IF MY FOCUS IS ON SOMETHING ELSE
OTHER THAN
MY LORD AND KING,
JESUS.
SOMETIMES THEY COME IN ANOTHER FORM
THAT IS NOT QUITE FUN,
BUT LET'S JUST LEAVE IT AT THAT FOR TODAY.
THIS POEM IS ALREADY
LONG ENOUGH.
HOW DO I GET THEM NOW,
YOU ASK?
YOU DID ASK,
DID YOU NOT?
NO MATTER,
NO ANSWER,
THIS IS MY PARTY.
THESE MESSAGES
OR WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL THEM
SO AS TO NOT MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE,
HAVE BEEN ONE HUNDRED PERCENT
FROM DAY ONE.
SO COULD YOU KINDLY, PLEASE,
THROW AWAY THAT TORCH AND KINDLING?
AND, AS I HAVE EMPHASIZED BEFORE
AND SHALL DO SO AGAIN,
CUZ I FEEL THAT
IT IS
VERY IMPORTANT FOR YOU TO KNOW:
THE PROPHECIES I HAVE
BEGAN THE DAY MY SWEET AUNT AND HER HUSBAND WERE PRAYING OVER ME AT THE ALTER, AKA, 'LAYING ON OF HANDS'.
IT'S BIBLICAL TO DO THIS.
IT'S NOTHING OF WHICH TO BE AFRAID.
THE THING OF WHICH WE SHOULD BE AFRAID
IS THE FACT THAT IT SEEMS THAT LESS
AND LESS CHURCHES
ARE AFRAID OR MAYBE DON'T EVEN BELIEVE,
EVEN THOUGH JESUS IS THE SAME
YESTERDAY, TODAY AND TOMORROW,...
ANOINTING THE AFFLICTED
AND PRAYING
AND LAYING HANDS ON THE SICK
AS JESUS DID IN HIS DAY?
I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE THEY ARE EMBARASSED
AND AFRAID THAT MIGHT JUST
LOSE THEIR STANDING.
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT,
IF I AM TO BE CALLED CRAZY,
I'D RATHER BE CALLED CRAZY
FOR DOING SOMETHING FOR JESUS.
YEP, THAT CRAZY SHERRIE,
SHE'S A JESUS FREAK.
SHE JUST CAN'T SEEM
TO STOP TALKING
ABOUT HER KING.
SHE HAS
THE AUDACITY
TO TESTIFY
EVERYWHERE SHE GOES.
SO, ENOUGH ABOUT ME.
LET'S GET BACK TO THAT STORY
ABOUT ME:
THAT SUNDAY MORNING,
OR SUNDAY NIGHT,
OR WEDNESDAY NIGHT,
OR ANY NIGHT
CUZ IT VERY POSSIBLY
COULD HAVE BEEN DURING
ONE OF THEIR MANY REVIVALS:
AS THEY WERE PRAYING,
MY AUNT IN FRONT,
LAYING HER HANDS ON MY FOREHEAD,
MY UNCLE IN BACK
SO AS TO CATCH ME,
I FLOATED DOWN
TO THE GROUND
FEELING JOYFUL
AND AS LIGHT AS A FEATHER.
THAT IS WHEN I RECEIVED
MOT ONLY THE GIFT OF PROPHECY,
BUT THE GIFT OF SPEAKING IN TONGUES.
IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BELIEVE ME
THAT GOD GIVES THESE PARTICULAR GIFTS,
THEN PLEASE,
FEEL FREE,
CUZ WE CAN TAKE A FIVE MINUTE BREAK -
LOOK IT UP IN 1 CORINTHIANS 12.
TIC TOC
MY MANTRA THIS WEEK:
PRAY BEFORE YOU SAY.
MAYBE I HAD BETTER COPYRIGHT THAT
CUZ I THING IT WOULD LOOK CUTE
ON T SHIRT OR MAYBE EVEN A BUMPER STICKER.
WOW,
DO I LIKE TO RAMBLE OR WHAT?
IT'S CUZ I'M IN CONTROL
OF THIS PARTICULAR CONVERSATION.
AND I'M A WRITER.
AND I'M ALONE MOST OF THE DAY.
SO IT'S EITHER TURN MY ATTENTION
TO MY LORD
OR TO THE WORLD.
NOTW
I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CONTROL
IN MY CURRENT LIVING SITUATION,
WHERE SOME CERTAIN PEOPLE,
WHOSE NAMES I SHALL NOT YET REVEAL,
HAVE NOT ONLY GOSSIPED ABOUT ME,
BUT JUDGED ME,
AS WELL AS CALLING ME AN AWFUL THING,
THE THING THEY KNEW
'CUZ I HAD TOLD THEM,
WOULD HURT ME THE MOST.
THANK YOU, JESUS,
FOR ALWAYS BEING IN CONTROL.
I LOVED HER,
THOUGHT WE WERE CLOSE FRIENDS.
WE PRAYED TOGETHER
AND FOR EACH OTHER.
AND IT MAKES ME CRY
THAT SHE TURNED ON ME
SO SUDDENLY.
I MISS HER
AND I THOUGHT SHE LOVED ME.
THIS IS A PERFECT EXAMPLE
OF WHAT I HAVE SAID PREVIOUSLY:
UNFORGIVENESS WEIGHS.
(NOTE TO SELF:
IN UPCOMING AUDITION,
USE THIS AS YOUR MOTIVATION.)
WHICH BRINGS ME BACK,
FULL CIRCLE SO TO SPEAK,
TO MY MESSAGE FOR TODAY:
DON'T LIVE A LIFE WITH REGRETS.
THE BIBLE CLEARLY STATES
AND GIVES MANY ILLUSTRATIONS
OF HOW WE ARE TO STEP OUT IN FAITH
IF WE ARE EVER ABLE TO MOVE ON.
NO EXCUSES.
AND,
LASTLY,
I PROMISE -
QUOTING FROM MYSELF,
FROM MY POEM,
'UPON THIS ROCK I STAND',
THE MOST POPULAR POEM TO DATE,
MAY I ADD,
GIVING GOD ALL OF THE GLORY.
(IT'S OKAY. I GAVE MYSELF PERMISSION
TO QUOTE ME.) ---
'FLY,
BUTTERFLY,
FLY.'
PROVERBS 3:5-6
TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART AND LEAN NOT ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING; IN ALL YOUR WAYS SUBMIT TO HIM, AND HE WILL MAKE YOUR PATHS STRAIGHT.
2 CORINTHIANS 5:7
FOR WE LIVE BY FAITH, NOT BY SIGHT.
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