Can I Please Come Home? (UPDATED)

My heart's shaking,

aching,

scared,

afraid of crossing the line,

saying what's not right.

I want things now.

I don't understand

what's holding them back.

I want the wall

to crumble

like it did in Jericho.

But what I want

most of all

is your will.

So, Lord,

please give me your wisdom.

Help me to do and say the right things

at the right time

and toss 

my wants

out the window

far away where they belong

never to return again,

thrown into the lake of fire.

Make me strong

because I'm so frightened

that the door that I've been waiting for

so long to be opened

has been unlocked,

opened a crack,

just enough

to give me a glimpse

of all that I've missed.

How can it be

that I'm so scared

when you've answered my prayers?

Is it the unknown
or maybe

'cause it's been so long?

Please stay by my side,
my sweet Jesus.

Guide me in every step that I take

so I don't make any more ridiculous mistakes.

Help me to say and do

what you want me to.

Let your will be done,

and my will be dead and gone.

My life is yours.

But I want to be honest with you, Lord,

and tell you the truth.

I'm  exhausted from all of these battles,

my heart's been broken and bruised
much more than a time or two.

I'm done, I'm ready.

Can I please just come home?

But I'm still here,

so I guess my job

is not quite done.

Here I am,

here I'll stay
in this race

with my sweet Jesus,
 my Savior by my side.
And I know if I continue on this road

and never
look back,
the wait will just seem
like a dream.

1 THESSALONIANS 5:16-18

REJOICE ALWAYS, PRAY CONTINUALLY,

GIVE THANKS IN ALL CIRCUMSTANCES;

FOR THIS IS GOD'S WILL FOR YOU IN CHRIST JESUS.