Whatever It Is, Give It to Him (revised)

I finally decide,

late at night,

exhausted from this emotional fight,

that it's time

to give my burdens back,

take them from my shoulders,

and let Jesus carry them instead.

Why can I not remember this?

Why do I always think that I'm strong enough to handle this life on my own?

You'd think that after all I've been through

I'd remember the truth from His word.

I've read the scriptures so many times,

know some so well that they, without thinking,
 fly into my rhymes.

This is one lesson that's been difficult for me to learn,

and I know it's because of what happened when I was young,

never being able to rely on anyone,

always having to look to myself

for help.

For example, when I was only five,

I was sent to my bed for crying too much

after breaking my arm playing with a bunch

of my friends.

I was made to stay

in my room, 

muffling my sobs,
cradling my little arm,

all day,
chastised for being such a cry baby.

Then, very late that night,
my father came home,

picked me up

as if I was some broken doll,

and ever so gently, carried me to the hospital.

That's how it was my entire life,

never having anyone on which I could rely.

But now I'm married to a Godly man

who loves me more than I deserve.

And I could never earn

the love and grace

God has sent my way.

So if I had one wish,

it would be this:

That I would put my past where it belongs,

and trust in the Lord with all of my heart 

and all of my soul.