I LOVE YOU COCO

I THINK I MAY BE IN SHOCK.
I HAVE KNOWN FOR SEVERAL MONTHS NOW
THAT SOMEONE I LOVE
WILL LEAVE ME TO BE WITH JESUS.
YOU SEE, I GET FEELINGS IN THE PIT OF MY STOMACH
AND THEN GOD WHISPERS IN MY EAR,
AND I USUALLY DON'T GET SPECIFICS,
I AM JUST ORDERED TO BE READY.
LIKE I WASN'T SURPRISED
BY MAMA JAN DYING?
YOU TOLD ME TWO TIMES.

IT'S MY DOG COCO I AM TALKING ABOUT.
SHE IS SICK.
AND, YES, I BELIEVE SHE WILL GO TO HEAVEN.
I MEAN, THINK ABOUT IT -
NO MATTER WHAT I DID,
SHE ALWAYS LOVED ME
AND CONSTANTLY WAITED BY MY SIDE.
KINDA LIKE AN AGAPE KIND OF LOVE.
NO STRINGS ATTACHED,
NO EXPECTATIONS.

SO, 
COCO WALKS INTO THE HOUSE
AFTER DOING HER BUSINESS OUTSIDE,
AND THEN JUST COLLAPSES 
HALFWAY BETWEEN OUR OUTSIDE DOOR
AND HER CAVE
(THE NEST UNDER MY DESK),
WHICH HAS ALWAYS BEEN
HER FAVORITE PLACE TO REST.
GO FIGURE.

I ADOPTED COCO WHEN SHE WAS JUST A LITTLE UN.
MY COMPLETELY CRAZY
OFF-THE-GRID HALF BROTHER
HAD A DOG NAMED GINGER
BACK THERE
WHEN
WE WERE BOTH LIVING IN OREGON.

SO SARA AND I, ON OUR WAY HOME
FROM BUYING HER UMPTEENTH BEAUTIFUL
SIZE ZERO PROM DRESS
AT THE TINY MALL FOR MILES,
STOPPED,
AS WE USUALLY DO,
JUST TO SAY A QUICK GOODBYE AND HELLO,
MADE A PIT-STOP AT MY HALF-BROTHER
AND HIS LIVE-IN GIRL PARTNER'S
IN THEIR PLACE THEY CALLED A HOUSE,
MY CRAZY HALF-BRO
SHOWED US THE NEW PUPPIES.
AND MY DAUGHTER, SARA AND I
WERE HALFWAY HOME FROM EUGENE,
ME KNOWING I HAD TO DRIVE THOSE CURVY
MOUNTAIN ROADS.
AND THERE WAS WHAT WE CALLED THERE
THE MAGIC TUNNEL.
CUZ IT WOULD BE SNOWING IN THE EUGENE SIDE,
AND,
IF YOU MADE IT THROUGH,
Oooooo,
IT WOULD BE SUNNY AND BRIGHT IN FLORENCE,
ON THE OTHER SIDE
WHERE WE LIVED
CLOSE ENOUGH TO THE OCEAN
YOU COULD HEAR THE WAVES AT NIGHT.

SO, YES, COCO.
ALL OF THE PUPPIES,
BTW,
WERE NAMED AFTER SPICES
I GUESS BECAUSE THEIR MOTHER'S NAME WAS
GINGER.
AND MY COCO,
SHE'S GOLD.
SO WHY THE NAME COCO?
I DON'T KNOW.
I DON'T HAVE A CLUE.

SO COCO,
BEING VERY SMART AND SNEAKY,
DECIDES TO SWITCH PERSONALITIES THAT DAY
WE WERE THERE,
SARA BEGGING ME,
PLEASE MOMMY,
I WANNA HAVE A PUPPY,
PROMISING SHE WOULD TAKE CARE OF COCO
HERSELF.
SURE...CUZ THAT VERY NIGHT,
WHO TOOK CARE OF THE WHIMPERING
LITTLE
PROBABLY MISSING HER BROTHERS AND SISTERS
PUPPY?
I WILL GIVE YOU ONE GUESS.
YEP,
YOU ARE CORRECT, SIR,
IT WAS ME.

COCO LOVED TO WATCH T.V.
AND I KNOW MOST DOGS DON'T.
I REMEMBER IF I HAD MY T.V. ON IN BOTH
THE LIVING ROOM AND MY BEDROOM,
WATCHING THE SAME SHOW ON BOTH,
IF ANY KIND OF ANIMAL CAME ON,
SHE PUT HER NOSE ON THE SCREEN,
THEN WHIMPER AND LOOK SIDE-TO-SIDE
AND IN BACK,
AND SNIFFING AND BARKING ALL AROUND
BOTH T.V.s
TRYING IN VAIN TO FIND THAT ANIMAL 
SHE HAD JUST SEEN ON T.V..
AND DO YOU WANT TO KNOW A CRAZY THING.
AS SHE WAS WATCHING TELLY,
AS THE BRITS SAY,
A LION OR A TIGER OR WHATEVER,
A MUCH BIGGER AND FASTER AND MEANER
ANIMAL THAN HER,
CAME ON T.V. ONCE,
AND COCO
SUDDENLY CROUCHED
ON THE COUCH,
HUNKERING DOWN,
AS IF SHE WAS HIDING,
NOT WANTING TO BE SEEN.
HOW DID SHE KNOW THAT ANIMAL
SHE WAS WATCHING ON T.V.
COULD HAVE DEVOURED HER???


ISN'T THAT A COOL STORY,
A REALLY GOOD MEMORY TOO HAVE
OF MY SWEET PUPPY
THAT I HAVE HAD THE PLEASURE OF LOVING
FOR 15 YEARS?
SHE HAS BLESSED MY LIFE.

SHE BROKE MY RIGHT HAND ONCE
WHEN SHE WAS JUST A YOUNG UN.
SHE HAD JUST COME IN THROUGH
THE DOOR MADE JUST FOR HER,
OVER EXCITED
BECAUSE SHE LOVED OREGON,
AND WAS ALWAYS RUNNING
AS FAST AS SHE COULD
EVERYWHERE.

SHE WOULD STAND ON THE LITTLE BUILT-IN
SMALL PICNIC TABLE,
EVEN IN THE RAIN,
THE WIND BLOWING HER EARS,
A SMILE ON HER FACE.

SO SHE WAS SUPER OVER-EXCITED,
AND SHE KNOCKED ME OFF MY FEET,
AND MY RIGHT HAND HIT THE CLOSE TO ME WALL
IN SUCH A WAY THAT I GOT
WHAT IS CALLED
A BOXER'S BREAK.
I REMEMBER YELLING IN PAIN,
WAKING UP MY TEENAGE DAUGHTER,
WAY TOO EARLY FOR HER.
AND I TOLD HER I THOUGHT I HAD HURT MY HAND.
BUT LIKE A GOOD MOTHER,
I WENT BACK TO BED
WHEN SHE SAID
THAT NOTHING WAS WRONG,
'JUST PLEASE GO BACK TO BED, MAMA.'

SO I WENT BACK TO BED
AS I WAS ORDERED
BY MY TEENAGE DAUGHTER.
BUT I  COULD NOT GO BACK TO SLEEP,
CUZ WHEN YOU BREAK A BONE,
YOU CAN NOT ONLY FEEL THE TWO PIECES
GRINDING BACK AND FORTH,
(ICKY)
AND YOU TEND TO GET VERY NAUSEATED.
SO I WAITED ABOUT HALF AN HOUR,
A RECORD FOR ME,
CUZ WHEN I WAS LITTLE
I WASN'T ALLOWED TO GET HURT,
AND THEN I FINALLY DECIDED
AND TRIED TO GET READY
TO GO TO THE ONLY HOSPITAL IN TOWN
BECAUSE I JUST KNEW SOMETHING WAS WRONG.
MY RIGHT HAND USELESS.
(DID I MENTION THAT I AM RIGHT-HANDED?)
AND I HAD JUST BOUGHT MY BEAUTIFUL,
PURPLE WITH LIGHTER PURPLE FLAMES 
P.T. CRUISER,
MY VERY FIRST BRAND SPANKIN' NEW CAR..
P.T.s FOR SOME ODD REASON
WERE VERY POPULAR IN THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST,
AND,
GUESS WHAT?
IT WAS A STICK SHIFT.

I LOVE DRIVING SMALL CARS WITH STICK SHIFTS.
IF I BELIEVED IN REINCARNATION, 
I WOULD SAY I WAS PREVIOUSLY
A RACE CAR DRIVER.

SO I SOMEHOW GET DRESSED,
GOT MY SHORT HAIR INTO SOME KIND OF 
PRESENTABLE ORDER,
AND PUT ON WHAT MAKE UP I COULD
WITH MY LEFT HAND.

YES, US GIRLY GIRLS
HAVE TO LOOK AT LEAST GOOD
EVEN WHEN WE ARE HURT 
AND BLEEDING
PROFUSELY.

I REALLY LOVE
I DECIDED TO GROW OUT MY HAIR
FOR PROBABLY THE LAST TIME.
WHAT THE HECK?
I HAVE GREAT HAIR.
AND I LOVE PLAYING WITH IT,
ADMITTEDLY COPYING A HAIR STYLE
I HAD SEEN ON A MUCH YOUNGER GIRL
THAT PREVIOUS SUNDAY. 
THE TRIAGE NURSE
ACTUALLY COMPLIMENTED ME ON IT.
PUT IT UP INTO A VERY COOL MESSY BUN
AND YOU'RE DONE,
EXCEPT HAVING TO FLAT IRON
MY IN-MY-LONG EYELASHES LONG BANGS.
I HAPPEN TO HAVE A LONG FACE,
SO BANGS WORK GREAT.

SORRY FOR THAT TANGENT.
YOU KNOW ME.

SO I SOMEHOW MAKE IT DOWN 
AND AROUND
THE SMALL
NOT TO MENTION SLOW 
WINDY ROADS
TO THE LOCAL SMALL HOSPITAL,
WALKING INTO THE TINY E.R.,
HOLDING MY RIGHT HAND GENTLY WITH MY LEFT,
AND I THINK THE DOCTOR COULD TELL IMMEDIATELY
BY THE WAY I WAS HOLDING MY RIGHT HARM
O SO GENTLY,
THAT SOMETHING WAS WRONG.
SO WE GOT THE X-RAYS,
AND,
SURE ENOUGH,
I HAD A BOXER'S BREAK.
I DON'T THINK THE ONLY DOCTOR ON CALL
(DID I MENTION THE HOSPITAL WAS SMALL?)
BELIEVED ME
WHEN HE ASKED ME WHAT HAPPENED
AND I TOLD HIM MY DOG DID IT,
KINDA LIKE WHEN YOU TELL YOU'RE TEACHER
YOUR DOG ATE YOUR HOMEWORK.

I NEVER DID THAT, THOUGH,
CUZ I WAS AN HONEST TO GOODNESS
NEARLY STRAIGHT A STUDENT.
I GOT A STUPID C IN PHYSICS IN HIGH SCHOOL
AND A B+ IN ONE OF MY LAW CLASSES
WHEN I WAS STUDYING
TO BE A COURT REPORTER.
AND DESPITE THAT HORRIBLE GRADE,
I STILL ENDED UP, CUZ OF DOING EXTRA CREDIT
IN ANITOMY,
WITH MORE THAN 100%.

I HAVE BEEN ACCUSED OF BEING COMPETITIVE,
AND YES,
I ADMIT THAT IS TRUE,
BUT I ONLY COMPETE WITH ME.

SO COCO IS NOW LYING ON THE CARPET,
OUT NEAR THE KITCHEN
AND,
ALTHOUGH IT MAKES MY HUSBAND MAD,
SHE IS MY BABY,
AND I NEED TO LIE NEXT TO HER
AND TELL HER HOW MUCH I LOVE HER,
GENTLY PETTING HER LONG SILKY GOLD COAT
AND HER POINDEXTER POINTY HEAD
(MY SON HAS SAID THAT A POINTY HEAD
IS A SIGN OF A VERY SMART DOG.  THAT'S MY COCO.)
SAYING MY GOODBYES,
NOT BEING ABLE TO STOP GENTLY CRYING,
FEELING MY HEART BREAKING,
AND WHISPERING IN HER EAR
THAT IT'S OKAY FOR HER TO GO
BECAUSE THEN
SHE WILL BE ABLE TO RUN EVERYWHERE
AND I WILL BE THERE WITH HER
AS SOON AS JESUS ALLOWS ME.  

PSALM 4:3 - KNOW THAT THE LORD HAS SET APART HIS FAITHFUL SERVANT FOR HIMSELF; THE LORD HEARS WHEN I CALL TO HIM.