WHERE AM I? (RVD)

IS THIS IT?
AM I AT THE RIGHT DOOR?
I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR SO LONG,
I'M NOT QUITE SURE.
HAVE I KNOCKED TOO HARD, LORD?
I JUST WANT TO STAY ON YOUR PATH,
DON'T WISH TO GO THE WRONG WAY,
MAKE THE WRONG TURN
AS I SO OFTEN HAVE
THROUGHOUT THIS DAY.
SHOULD I NOT PUSH?
MUST I NOT ASK?
I JUST WANT TO SPREAD YOUR WORD
MORE THAN I COULD EVER COMPREHEND,
LET ALONE SHOW.

THIN AS PAPER (RVD)

YOU SEEM TO DISCOUNT ME
SO EASILY,
YET YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME.
AND WHAT IS THE DEAL,
AFTER BEING FRIENDS FOR YEARS,
YOU SUDDENLY ACT AS IF YOU DON'T KNOW ME?
HOWEVER, THE TRUTH IS,
I AM AS THIN AS PAPER.
I HURT, I BLEED
VERY EASILY,
WHICH HAS BEEN DRILLED INTO ME
BY (DARE I SAY IT?) MY FAMILY.
"YOU'RE MUCH TO SENSITIVE.'
SAYING THIS AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF CURSE.
IT TOOK ME A LONG WHILE,
BUT I AM SURE NOW,
THAT GOD DOES NOT MAKE MISTAKES.
THE GOOD AND COMPASSIONATE LORD
CREATED ME, SENSITIVITY AND ALL,
JUST THE WAY HE WANTED ME TO BE.
IF I WASN'T SO THIN-SKINNED,
HOW COULD I DARE TO SHARE
MY CRUSHED AND BROKEN HEART
TO THE ENTIRE WORLD?

PSALM 19:12 - WHO CAN SEE HIS OWN MISTAKES? FORGIVE MY SINS THAT I DO NOT SEE.

BROKEN VESSEL

BROKEN VESSEL

Lying in my bed,

I ponder on what God has said.

He says He can use me,

but I've been so abused,

torn and confused.

How can He use someone like me?

But as I recall, after reading my Lord's words,

He uses the weak to shame the strong.

So no matter the hurtful words

that have been flung my way,

I must remember that they come from the enemy.

And despite my broken vessel

God has used me in a way

I could never imagine or dream.

Because I have been assured

that I am the apple of His eye,

He whispers to me in the dead of the darkest night,

and He tells me exactly what to write.

And somehow these simple words

that I form in my damaged heart,

these thoughts 

that come from the deepest part of me,

God takes my weakness

and spreads it throughout the world

to give strength to those

I have never met

or don't even know.

God loves all of us,

despite everything we've done

and uses us for good

The only thing He asks us to do,

such a simple thing,

is to open our hearts

and become a part of Him,

to be mended.

His children.

If Jesus can use

a broken vessel such as I,

then imagine what He can do

with you.

Psalm 73:26 - My body and my heart may grow weak, but God is the strength of my heart and all I need forever.

1 Corinthians 1:27 - But God has chosen what the world calls foolish to shame the wise.  He has chosen what the world calls weak to shame what is strong. 

TRUTH (RVD)

BROUGHT UP IN AN ABUSIVE HOME,
NEARLY ABDUCTED AS A CHILD,
SO YOU CAN NEVER CONVINCE ME
THAT ANGELS DON'T ABOUND.
GOD MUST HAVE A PLAN,
OTHERWISE WHY WOULD I STILL BE HERE,
SHARING MY PAIN,
TO MY FAMILY'S CHAGRIN,
IN HOT WATER BECAUSE I MUST TELL THE TRUTH
SO OTHERS CAN KNOW THEY CAN MAKE IT THROUGH
BY THE GRACE OF GOD
AND THAT WHICH WILL SET YOU FREE,
THE HOLY TRINITY.

WHAT CAN I DO? (RVD)

I lie here in my bed
often wondering
if what I do for the Lord is enough.
My body, wracked with pain,
is barely able to walk on my own.
How can God use someone like me?
What use am I to Him?
So I slit open my heart
and share my pain,

ALL OR NOTHING

There's so much more I want to accomplish
for the Lord
in this place we call home.
I've only a short time left.
to get across
the message Jesus left
Yes, we are to love one another
as we love ourselves and more.
But to discount the Old Testament
as some are want to do
is sacrilegious in my book.
Isaiah alone is abounding with prophesies
fulfilled by the Lord.
There is more to the Word than just the Good News.
Have we already forgotten the Ten Commandments
and the blood shed by our forefathers
and the sacrifices of Abraham,
our father in this land?
How can we take the God-breathed Book
and use just part of it to our own advantage?
For me, myself, it's all or nothing.
I abide in the truth.

 

 

 

 

 

THANK YOU

THANK YOU TO THE FOLLOWING COUNTRIES WHO HAVE READ MY POETRY.  I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU HAVE READ WHAT I WRITE. I ALWAYS WRITE FROM MY OWN EXPERIENCES AND FROM MY HEART.  I PRAY THAT I HAVE HELPED SOMEONE THAT HAS BEEN HURT OR IS HURTING.  GOD BLESS YOU AND YOURS.

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THESE COUNTRIES ARE IN THE ORDER IN WHICH THEY HAVE READ MY BLOG, AND I APOLOGIZE IF I HAVE MISSPELLED ANY. YOUR CONTINUED SUPPORT ENCOURAGES ME.

JOHN 4:44 - HE HIMSELF HAD SAID THAT A PROPHET IS NOT HONORED IN HIS OWN TOWN.

THE ABSOLUTE TRUTH

IT IS BEYOND MY FRAME OF MIND
WHEN CHRISTIANS IN KIND
TELL ME THEY DON'T BELIEVE
THAT THE HOLY BIBLE IS GOD BREATHED.
THEY ON THEIR OWN PROCLIVITIES
CHOOSE TO DECIDE
OUT OF PRIDE
THEIR OWN VERSIONS, THEIR INSTITUE
OF THE TRUTH.
THEY PICK AND CHOOSE
WHAT IS MOST CONVENIENT FOR THEM,
FOLLOWING THE EASY ROAD,
ALL OF WHICH I'VE BEEN PRIVY TO BE TOLD
BY BROTHERS AND SISTERS OF THE LORD.
AND I'M SCARED FOR THEM
BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN THE ENTIRE BIBLE,
FRONT TO BACK,
EVERY WORD PENNED BY GODLY MEN AND WOMEN.
HOW CAN YOU BELIEVE
PIECES OF THE WORD
THAT MAKE IT CONVENIENT FOR YOUR LIFE
AND STILL HAVE THAT TICKET FOR HEAVEN?

Step into the light

Death
is but a step,
a graduation if you must,
bringing us into eternity with our Lord.
Fear will subside,
our tears will be wiped away,
and joy will be with us in the morning.

2 Corinthians:...when we die and leave this earthly body, we will have a house in heaven...
 

GOODBYE BROTHER

FOR MY BROTHER

GOODBYE BROTHER.
I WILL MISS YOU SO,
REMEMBERING
HOW MUCH YOU BUGGED ME IN THE BEGINNING.
I WAS THIRTEEN
AND I BELIEVED YOU WERE EIGHT,
AND I HATED THE THOUGHT
OF SUDDENLY HAVING THREE BROTHERS.
IT WAS BAD ENOUGH THAT I HAD A NEW DAD.
BUT OVER THE YEARS,
YOU SOMEHOW TOUCHED MY HEART,
AND I BEGAN TO FEEL A PART OF A FAMILY.
I AM SO VERY SORRY NOW
THAT I NEVER REACHED OUT
TO HELP YOU IN SOME WAY
AS A GOOD CHRISTIAN SHOULD.
MY HUSBAND REMINDS ME, THOUGH,
OF THE TIME WE WERE ABLE
TO HELP THE LOCAL HOMELESS SHELTER.
I NEED TO BE MORE AWARE
OF THOSE IN NEED
AND PRAY THEY WILL GO AND KNEEL AT THE TREE
AND BE SET FREE

.

I'm Still Here After All These Years (rvd)

Is it so wrong to rely on the tree
where he gave His life for me?
Without Him, I am lost,
without purpose.
I never thought God could use me after I was hurt,
but here I am,
lying in bed,
writing all about me.
My one prayer in the beginning
was that if I could reach just one,
then my work would be done.
A year later, I'm still here,
pouring my heart out to those I don't even know,
still praying that I can reach at least one
and tell them the Good News,
that they are cherished and loved,
no matter what,
and I am still here.

I Want More

Is it wrong to want more,
to stand with faith on that mountain top
desiring with all of my heart to hear from you, Lord?
Or should I just sit on what I have,
satisfied that I'm near to the finish line?
But something tells me that while I still have breath
I must not rest on my laurels,
but climb the nearest hill,
and never give up
no matter my ills.
Jesus suffered,
and I believe my own suffering
draws me closer to my King.
And I know for a certainty
that my pain is only temporary,
for His Kingdom awaits,
and it is there that I can finally rest.
But as for now, I must climb those steps.

 

 

 

Sacrifice

Frustration sets in.
Am I not on the same page?
I know there is more,
but where from here must I go?
I long to share my story,
let others know that the pain they are suffering
is only temporary
and that they can be saved.
After all, this is just the beginning,
a test if you must
for everlasting peace and love.
But how do I reach those who need to hear the truth,
who long for someone to reach out
and give them comfort and love?
What must I do,
where is my ministry,
where do I go?
Am I helping those who need help,
am I speaking the words they need to hear?
Am I making myself clear?
Do they know that Jesus is the answer,
He is the way, the truth, and the life?
Open your heart to him,
and no matter your circumstance,
Jesus will come in
and make everything bearable
if you just put your burdens on Him.
He is our peace,
He lights our path.
Jesus sacrificed His very life.
He shed His blood,
wiped away our sins.
All I ask is that you just let Jesus in.

IT'S JUST ME

I'M JUST A LUMP OF CLAY,
READY TO BE FORMED,
MADE FROM DIRT AND ASHES,
REBORN.
I LONG TO DO YOUR WILL,
WANT TO BE AT YOUR BECK AND CALL.
I WANT IT ALL.
I AM MORE THAN HALF WAY THROUGH,
CLOSER TO HOME,
BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN I'M GIVING UP.
I'M NOT DONE.
SOME DAYS THE WORDS JUST OVERFLOW MY CUP.
I LONG TO HELP OTHERS,
REACH OUT TO THOSE IN NEED,
SHARE MY PAIN,
LET THE WHOLE WORLD KNOW THAT THERE IS HOPE.

AM I? (RVD)

AM I FINISHED?
IS THIS ALL THERE IS?
ARE MY WORDS FALLING TO THE FLOOR,
OR IS THERE MORE?
HAVE I BEEN BLIND,
MISSED MY CHANCE TO SHARE YOUR WORD
AND MY CIRCUMSTANCE?
HAVE I ENCOURAGED OTHERS,
HELPED THOSE IN NEED,
BEEN EMPATHETIC,
SHARED MY HURTS,
OPENED UP MY BLEEDING HEART,
DONE MY PART?
CAN YOU PLEASE GIVE ME A SIGN,
SHOW ME WHERE TO GO,
KEEP ME ON THE RIGHT ROAD,
OPEN A WINDOW?
I WANT TO SACRIFICE,
WANT TO GIVE MY LIFE.
I WANT TO BE REMEMBERED WHEN I'M GONE.

Discouraged (rvd)

Discouraged,
lying here in my comfy bed
and crying,
and wondering why
the Lord picked broken me
to tell my pitiful story.
I feel in my heart you have more in store for me,
Lord,
but I seem unable to find that open window.
The door has closed,
so where do I go from here, oh Lord?
I'm still not yet home, so there must be more.
Am I giving up too easily,
letting the enemy win?
Have I done the work you set before me,
taken the right road,
jumped off the fence?
My fists are bloodied from knocking on that closed door.
Where, oh where is that open window?
Am I looking in the wrong place,
trusting in man,
feeling sorry for myself,
not moving ahead?
I know my job here is not yet done,
I know in my soul there is more.
But where do I go from here,
am I on the right road?
Where is that door,
where is that open window?
Is what I'm writing falling on closed ears?
Why, oh why am I still here,
Lord, Jesus,
Why?

FOR MY BABY BROTHER DOUG (RVD)

TEARS FLOWING

LIKE RAINDROPS

STREAMING DOWN MY FACE.

MY HEART IS HURTING.

I DON'T THINK I CAN ENDURE

THIS PAIN

IN MY ALREADY

SCARRED HEART

BUT I KNOW MY LORD IS NEAR

SO I ASK JESUS TO TELL YOU

THAT I'M SORRY

I WASN'T A BETTER BIG SISTER

SORRY THAT I DIDN'T OFFER YOU SHELTER

OR EVEN TRY TO FIND YOU

AND TELL YOU THAT I LOVED YOU

AND,

MOST OF ALL,

TO SHARE THE GOOD NEWS

I HAVE A FEELING

THOUGH

THAT YOU FOUND YOUR WAY HOME

DEDICATED TO MY SWEET BABY BROTHER DOUG WHO WENT TO BE WITH OUR LORD APRIL OF LAST YEAR.

I SAW AN ANGEL (YES, THEY'RE REAL) (RVD)

I saw an angel
out of the corner of my eye
a bright, colorful light.
Then I tried to take a picture
and the angel interfered,
a clear light surrounding me,
holding,
protecting and consoling me,
drying my tears,
telling me it was okay,
everything would be all right.
We all have a choice,
we are all given free will,
so if you don't want to believe
that Jesus is the only way,
then I will unceasingly pray.

I Thessalonians 5:17 - Pray continually...

GUILTY (RVD)

searching

wondering
worrying
the guilt kills
where have you gone?
where is your soul?
did I not do my job?
did I ever tell you about our Lord?
the guilt
kills
crying
still

sigh (completely revised)

can't seem 

to get any

rest

I

must be

broken
unfortunately

I guess

for my Creator

to purify me

make me whole

But I'm so tired

of apologizing

for my differences
normal
is
boring

and whether you want to admit it

or not

We were all created in God's image

so

that

should

be

that

I'M SORRY (DEDICATED TO DOUG AND ANDY TOO)

ONLY THIRTEEN WHEN I FIRST MET YOU,
SO YOU WERE PROBABLY ABOUT EIGHT
WHEN I FIRST MET YOU.
BUT IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT.
NEITHER WAS IT MINE,
SO HOW COULD I BLAME YOU?
RED HAIR AND SHORT,
A LITTLE OVERWEIGHT,
AND WHAT I HATE
TODAY
IS THAT I DON'T REMEMBER
THE COLOR OF YOUR EYES.
I DO RECALL
YOU AND YOUR BROTHER
WERE REALLY HURT,
ACCIDENT OR NOT.
I NEVER WAS TOLD THE TRUTH
ABOUT THAT BIG RUSE.
I WAS OLD ENOUGH
HOW IT FELT TO BE DIFFERENT.
I WAS THE TALLEST OF THEM ALL,
TOO SKINNY
AND, QUITE HONESTY
LOOKED LIKE A CUTE GUY.
DIDN'T LIKE YOUR FATHER.
BUT WHAT HURTS THE MOST
IS THAT I DON'T RECALL
WITNESSING TO YOU,
SOWING THE GROUND,
SPREADING THE FRUIT,
TELLING THE TRUTH.
THE MOST IMPORTANT THING OF ALL.
I CAN'T SAVE YOU,
BUT I COULD HAVE BEEN A LITTLE STRONGER
ABOUT MY BELIEF,
I MIGHT HAVE AN ANSWER
IF I COULD JUST REMEMBER
THE COLOR OF YOUR EYES.

My tears for Doug (rvd)

"He's dead,"
my mother said,
sounding so dry,
non-empathetic.
I cried.
She said "Hush, now."
I sighed.
What else was there to do?
Never being allowed to show my emotions,
always criticized
for seeming too sympathetic
I realized
how surprised she would be
for me
if she knew how guilty I felt
about not remembering
if I had ever told my brother Doug
about the love of the Lord

sad

My heart feels so empty,
my soul feels so sad.
If only I had tried harder,
would he still be around?
Did I somehow let him down?

 

 

IF IT WAS ME (RVD)

IF IT WAS ME,
WOULD I BE READY?
IF IT WAS MY TIME,
COULD I FACE MY LORD?
WITHOUT JESUS BY MY SIDE,
WOULD I BE FORGIVEN
FOR ALL OF MY TRANSGRESSIONS?
WOULD I BE GIVEN A LAST BREATH
TO ASK FOR FORGIVENESS?
DO I DESERVE THAT MUCH GRACE
TO SEE MY LORD'S SWEET FACE?
IF IT WAS ME,
WOULD I BE READY?

FORGIVE ME FATHER (RVD)

MY HEART HURTS
MY SOUL ACHES
IF ONLY I COULD HAVE ANOTHER CHANCE
TO LET HIM KNOW WHAT HE MEANT TO ME
SURE HE WAS ANNOYING
AS LITTLE BROTHERS CAN BE
BUT HE GREW UP INTO A FINE MAN
ANYONE WOULD BE GLAD TO CALL HIM FRIEND
I PRAY HE'S LOOKING DOWN
KNOWING THAT I LOVED HIM
I'M KICKING MYSELF
FOR NOT TRYING HARDER
TO GET TO KNOW HIM BETTER
AS THE MAN HE GREW INTO
FORGIVE ME, LORD,
FOR NOT BEING 
THE GOOD CHRISTIAN BIG SISTER
I SHOULD HAVE BEEN

BE READY

KNOWING THAT MY BROTHER
IS RESTING IN GOD'S HANDS
BRINGS MY SOUL COMFORT,
HELPS ME TO UNDERSTAND.
WE ALL HAVE A TIME,
WE ALL HAVE A PLACE.
WE CANNOT CHANGE THE FACT
OF COMING FACE-TO-FACE
WITH OUR CREATOR, OR LORD, OR SAVIOR.
WE NEED TO BE READY
WE MUST LIVE FOR HIM
WE MUST SPREAD HIS WORD
SO NO SOULS ARE LOST IN THS WORLD.
WHETHER YOU BELIEVE,
WHETHER YOU'VE RECEIVED,
IT DOES NOT CHANGE THE FACT
THAT WE ALL HAVE OUR TIME MAPPED OUT.
BE READY.