JESUS LOVES ME AND YOU EQUALLY (UPDATED WITH SCRIIPTURE)

YOU SIT THERE

WITH YOUR BIBLE SPREAD ACROSS YOUR DESK

FOR EVERYONE TO SEE,

AS IF YOU'RE SHOWING OFF.

CAN YOU SAY 'PHARISEE'?

ARE YOU READING?

ARE YOU UNDERSTANDING,

COMPREHENDING?

ARE YOU AWARE

THAT JESUS LOVES US ALL THE SAME

IN SPITE OF OUR FAULTS,

WHAT WE'VE DONE WRONG?

ARE YOU EVEN AWARE

YOU USED TO SCARE ME

TO THE POINT OF NOT WANTING

TO GO TO WORK.

SITTING AND PRAYING AND CRYING

ALL ALONE IN MY CAR.

AND WHEN YOU FINALLY NOTICED THE SITUATION,

YOUR FIRST INSTINCT 

WAS TO SAVE YOUR OWN SKIN 

AND THAT OF YOUR FRIENDS.

I WASN'T EVIL.

I WAS JUST TRYING TO DO MY JOB.

BULLYING ME WAS NOT THE ANSWER.

THAT WAS A LONG TIME AGO,

BUT IT STILL HAUNTS ME,

THAT MEMORY.

ARE YOU STILL ABLE TO LOOK AT YOURSELF

IN THE MIRROR?

MY ONLY HOPE IS THAT JESUS

HAS POWER IN EVERY ASPECT OF MY LIFE,

EVERY CORNER,

EVERY SHADOW.

IT'S TIME I FORGAVE YOU

AND TO PRAY FOR YOUR SALVATION.

YOU WERE FILLED WITH JEALOUSY

OR INSIGNIFICANCE,

AND I'M SORRY FOR THAT.

YOU SEE,

JESUS LOVES US ALL THE SAME.

HE'S OFF LOOKING FOR THAT LITTLE LOST SHEEP.

AND AT TIMES IT HAS BEEN YOU,

AND AT TIMES IT HAS BEEN ME.

THANK YOU, JESUS

FOR NEVER GIVING UP.

FORGIVENESS IS THE KEY,

SALVATION IS THE LOCK.

I WANT TO BE STANDING 

NEXT TO JESUS EVERY SECOND

OF EVERY DAY,

HOLDING HIS HAND,

FOR ETERNITY.

THANK YOU, LORD

FOR NEVER GIVING UP ON ME.

1 PETER 5:7

CAST ALL YOUR ANXIETY ON HIM

BECAUSE HE CARES FOR YOU.

I'M STILL HERE (UPDATED WITH SCRIPTURE)

WAKING UP AFTER A LONG ILLNESS,
FEELING USELESS,
INSIGNIFICANT.
A DEAD LEAF
FALLING OUT OF A TREE.
BUT I AM STILL HERE.
AND I WILL WRITE,
AND I WILL SPEAK.
OF GOD'S GRACE

AS LONG AS I'M STILL

IN THIS PLACE THAT IS NOT MY HOME.

AFTER ALL, I AM NOT ASHAMED.

FOR WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO DO?

THE WORLD IS HURTING,

BURNING.

SO LET US GATHER TOGETHER,

HELP ONE ANOTHER,

SEEK OUT THE HURTING,

THE LONELY.

BE CHRIST TO THEM.

YOU MAY JUST BE

THE ONLY  JESUS THEY WILL EVER SEE

LOVE PATIENTLY.

1 JAMES 5:5

WHO IS IT THAT OVERCOMES THE WORLD?

ONLY THE ONE THAT BELIEVES

JESUS IS THE SON OF GOD.

On My Knees Again (UPDATED WITH SCRIPTURE)

SO FRUSTRATED.

NOTHING I DO SEEMS TO WORK.
THE HARDER I TRY,
THE LESS THINGS CHANGE.
I JUST WANT TO THROW IN THE TOWEL
AND START ALL OVER AGAIN.
IT'S SUCH A TOUGH ISSUE,
SO I CANNOT GIVE UP.
IT'S SOMEONE'S SOUL,
SOMEONE I LOVE DEEPLY.
I'VE RUN OUT OF IDEAS,
I HAVE NOTHING MORE TO SAY.
THE PAIN IS INTENSE.
FRUSTRATION SETS IN.
I NEVER THOUGHT IT WOULD LEAD TO THIS.
ALL ELSE PALES IN COMPARISON.
I NEED MORE WISDOM.
I NEED MORE PEACE.
I NEED COMFORT.
I NEED REST.
I NEED TO KNOW
THAT YOU HAVE THIS
IN YOUR HANDS.

I NEED TO STOP TRYING SO HARD
BECAUSE NO MATTER WHAT I DO,
I CANNOT OUTDO YOU.

PSALM 5:3

IN THE MORNING, O LORD, YOU HEAR MY VOICE; IN THE MORNING I LAY MY REQUESTS BEFORE YOU AND WAIT IN EXPECTATION.

Heavy Heart (UPDATED WITH SCRIPTURE)

MY HEART IS HEAVY.

I MISS YOU SO.

I DON'T KNOW HOW

TO GET BACK WHAT WE HAD,

AND IT MAKES ME SAD.

WE HAD SOMETHING  BEAUTIFUL.

I'VE ASKED FOR FORGIVENESS

OVER AND OVER AND OVER.

I WORRY THAT I WILL NO LONGER

BE ON THIS MORTAL COIL

WHEN YOU DECIDE

YOU WANT ME TO BE PART OF YOUR LIFE AGAIN.

I'D DIVE IN FRONT OF A BUS

TO SAVE YOUR LIFE.

IN FACT,

I WOULD DO ANYTHING

IF YOU WOULD JUST TELL ME

WHAT IT IS YOU NEED FROM ME

SO I CAN END THIS MISERY.

I KNOW I'VE MADE MISTAKES.

I KNOW I HAVEN'T BEEN THE BEST.

BUT I TRIED, I LOVED.

IF ONLY I COULD TURN BACK TIME.

BUT I CAN'T.

IF IT TAKES THE REST OF MY LIFE

FOR YOU TO FORGIVE ME,

THEN I WILL SPEND IT ON MY KNEES.

I THANK GOD FOR MY SALVATION

AND I ONLY HAVE TO ASK HIM ONCE.

BUT GOD ASKS ME TO PRAY

UNCEASINGLY.

AND PRAYING IS THE ONLY THING

THAT BRINGS ME SOME SEMBLANCE

OF PEACE.

I LOOK FORWARD

TO THE DAY I SEE YOU HEAVEN,

FOR THEN ALL OF THIS WILL BE FORGOTTEN.

PSALM 34:18

THE LORD IS CLOSE TO THE BROKENHEARTED

AND SAVES THOSE WHO ARE CRUSHED IN SPIRIT.

SIGH (UPDATED WITH SCRIPTURE)

MY HEART IS WEARY

FROM TRYING,
SIGHING.
MY EYES ARE RED FROM CRYING,
SIGHING.
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO,
WHAT TO SAY,
SO I PRAY.
TRYING,
CRYING
SIGHING,
PRAYING.



PSALM 34:18

THE LORD IS CLOSE TO THE BROKENHEARTED
AND SAVES THOSE WHO ARE
CRUSHED
IN SPIRIT.

JESUS IS IN CONTROL (UPDATED)

I WOKE UP THIS MORNING,
FEELING DOWNCAST AND ALONE.
IS THIS THE LIFE I'M MEANT TO LIVE,
OR DID I TAKE A DETOUR
DOWN SOME DUSTY OLD ROAD?
I'VE TRIED MY BEST.
THAT'S ALL I CAN SAY
WITH WHAT I WAS GIVEN
ON THAT FATEFUL DAY.
BUT I'M NOT IN CONTROL,
AND LIFE IS GOING TO HURT.
SOME ARE GOING TO THINK THE WORST,
THROWING ME THEIR LITTLE SMIRKS.
I HAVE NEVER SAID I AM PERFECT,
I HAVE ALWAYS SAID I'M THE LEAST.
I DON'T DESERVE A PARTY,
NOR DO I DESERVE A FEAST.
BUT IF I CAN JUST MAKE IT TO THE END OF THIS RACE
WITHOUT MUCH MORE TEARS, PAIN AND FEARS,
THEN I'VE GAINED.
THOSE WHO HAVE LOOKED DOWN ON ME
BECAUSE OF MY FAITH
WILL BE PUT TO SHAME.

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DO NOT KNOW,
JESUS IS IN CONTROL.

HEBREWS 11:1
NOW FAITH IS BEING SURE OF WHAT WE HOPE FOR AND CERTAIN OF WHAT WE DO NOT SEE.

Forgive Myself (UPDATED WITH SCRIPTURE)

How can I forgive myself when I know all I have done?

I've sinned and sinned and sinned again,

knowing the difference between right and wrong.

I may be perceived as a good person,

but I know what's in my heart.

So how can I consider myself a part of God's family, free?

The only way I can reconcile my past failings

is knowing that Jesus died for me.

He took my transgressions, future and past,

and nailed them to his tree.

He forgave me on that unforgettable day,

along with the one to the left and the right.

I wish I had been there to see that beautiful sight.

The heavens blared, the curtain was torn,

and my Jesus gathered the keys

then took his place at the right side of God, on the throne,

to continue to be my advocate.

Now all that is left is to forgive myself.

Such an easier life it would be

if everyone wasn't here to remind me

of what a sinner I have been, born of the flesh,

stupid, ugly me.

But Jesus in his infinite wisdom, has forgiven me,

so why can't I?

If only I wasn't reminded daily

of what a sinner am I.

It's a battle that I fear I may not win,

but if I've read to the end, which I'm prone to do,

then I know we win

if only we put our trust in Him.

PROVERBS 3:5-6

TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART AND LEAN NOT ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING;

IN ALL YOUR WAYS SUBMIT TO HIM

AND HE WILL MAKE YOUR PATHS STRAIGHT.

Choose

Broken,

afraid of my own shadow,

scared of what will happen tomorrow.

Knowing I can no longer live this way,

I go to the Lord's word, and this is what He has to say:

Isaiah 43:18-19 - Forget the former things;do not dwell on the past.

See, I am doing a new thing!

Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?

I am making a way in the desert

and streams in the wasteland.

This is not a new scripture to me.  

But it is called the Living Word for a reason.

Every time I read it, my life is in a new season.

I have a very important choice to make - persevere through the pain

or wallow in it; believe in God's promises, that His Word is alive even today and relevant,

or mope around as if this was the end.

Every choice I make matters.

I matter.

I no longer wish to wallow.

I want to touch that one person who needs to be touched,

who knows what it feels like to be not only alone, but in pain,

and let them know that they are never alone.

Angels surround them, others have gone before them,

and Jesus is in them.

Through A Glass Darkly 2 (UPDATED AGAIN)

I ONCE WAS BLIND,

BUT NOW I SEE,
BUT ONLY THROUGH
A GLASS DARKLY.
ONCE THINGS
ARE SAID AND DONE,
I WILL SEE CLEARLY;
EVERYTHING AS IT IS MEANT TO BE.
THE PAIN,
THE FEARS,
AND ALL OF THESE TEARS WILL ABATE
AND SUDDENLY I WILL BE THERE,
AT THAT HEAVENLY GATE.
I WILL HAVE MY NEW BODY
AND BE IN THE PRESENCE OF MY SWEET LORD,
AND I WILL ETERNALLY CELEBRATE WITH MY KING.
SWEET RELEASE.

I CORINTHIANS 13:12 - FOR NOW WE SEE IN A MIRROR, DARKLY, BUT THEN FACE-TO-FACE. NOW I KNOW IN PART, BUT THEN I SHALL KNOW JUST AS I ALSO AM KNOWN.