THE SON (UPDATED)

THIS PAIN IS SO DISTURBINGLY

INTENSE.

CAN'T I PLEASE

JUST STAY

IN MY BED

AND NOT FACE TODAY.

GOD WILLING

THERE WILL BE OTHERS.

'PULL YOURSELF UP BY YOUR BOOTSTRAPS'

SOME PEOPLE LECTURE ME.

I'M NOT FAKING IT,

IT REALLY HAPPENED,

AND, YES,

THE PAIN

IS THAT

INTENSE.

I DARE YOU

TO WALK IN MY SHOES,
SO TO SPEAK,
(DON'T FEEL SORRY FOR ME,
BUT MOST TIMES
I NEED TO USE A WHEELCHAIR.)

I KNOW THERE ARE OTHERS

HURTING

TOO,

AND EVEN MORE

THAN ME.

THAT'S WHY I WRITE,

THAT'S WHY I SHARE
MY DEEPEST HURTS,
THE SCARS
THAT MAY NEVER
DISAPPEAR,

AND TO REMIND MYSELF

THAT I AM NOT ALONE,

AS I GAZE OUT
AND PRAY IN SUPPLICATION

TO THE ONE AND ONLY SON.

2 CORINTHIANS 5:7

FOR WE LIVE BY FAITH,

NOT BY SIGHT

UNCEASINGLY

I STRONGLY BELIEVE

THAT FOR NOW

WE SEE

THROUGH A GLASS DARKLY.

THIS LIFE IS BUT A TEST.

WE HAVE YET

TO SEE THE BEST.

DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF,

BUT STAY ON YOUR TOES.

PRAY UNCEASINGLY,

FOR NO ONE KNOWS

THE DAY OR THE HOUR

WHEN WE WILL BE RETURNED

TO WHERE WE BELONG,

PRAISING OUR KING
UNCEASINGLY. 

1 CORINTHIANS 13:12

FOR NOW WE SEE ONLY A REFLECTION AS IN A MIRROR.

REFLECTIONS

THERE IS A VERY LARGE COLD HOLE
DEEP INSIDE MY SOUL.
WAS IT MY RUTHLESS FATHER
OR UNCARING MOTHER
OR BRUTISH SISTER
OR EMBARRESSED COUSINS,
AUNTS,
UNCLES
AND GRANDPARENTS
THAT STRETCHED THIS COLD HOLE
DEEP INSIDE MY SOUL
UNTIL IT JUST BECAME
NO ONE'S BLAME.
AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT THEY TOLD ME.
AND WHO AM I
TO QUESTION WHY?
JUST THE SILLY ONE
WHO LOOKED TOO MUCH LIKE THE PRODIGAL SON.
UNLUCKY TO BE BORN
LOOKING TOO MUCH LIKE THE FIRSTBORN SON
IT'S NOT MY FAULT,
AND I LOVED HIM,
SO I THINK IT'S COOL
WHEN I GLANCE IN THE MIRROR
TO SEE MY UNCONDITIONALLY 
LOVING
FATHER 
STARING BACK
REFLECTING MY SOUL.

HE IS WAITING (REVISED)

HERE I AM,
HERE I STAND.
SEVERAL TIMES I'VE WALKED AWAY
AND STAYED IN THE PIT 
FAR TOO LONG.
I KNOW I WAS THE ONE WHO HAD LEFT,
AND I KNEW DOWN IN MY HEART 
THAT WASN'T RIGHT.
BUT WHAT WAS I TO DO
WHEN I WASN'T BEING 
LED TO THE LIGHT?
HOW COULD ALL THAT FIGHTING
BRING A CHILD TO THE LORD?
ALL I WANT TO DO WHEN THINGS GO WRONG
IS TO RUN 
AS FAST AS I CAN
TRYING TO FIND ANOTHER WORLD,
ANY PLACE WHERE I BELONG,
BECAUSE I DON'T BELONG HERE.
THIS IS NOT MY HOME.
BUT I PRAISE GOD
AND THANK HIM FOR WAITING.
HE HAS MUCH MORE PATIENCE 
THAN I EVER COULD.
I WOULD HAVE LEFT ME 
A LONG TIME AGO. 
BUT THERE JESUS WAITED PATIENTLY, ARMS OPENED WIDE.
YOU SEE, GOD IS NEVER 
THE ONE WHO LEAVES.
IT IS WE WHO GO ASTRAY.
BUT GOD IS STILL THERE 
WAITING FOR US.
HE WILL NEVER GIVE UP ON YOU.

HIS WINGS

THE PAIN
IS ALWAYS THE SAME.
IT NEVER GOES AWAY,
AND NO ONE SEEMS TO UNDERSTAND.
WHY AM I ALWAYS HAVING
TO JUSTIFY THE NEED FOR RELIEF,
WHEN ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS JUST LOOK AT THE PAIN IN MY FACE?
I'M TIRED OF IT, TOO,
BUT I DON'T WANT TO REALLY HEAR IT
BECAUSE YOU MOST LIKELY CAN'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO GO THROUGH.
DAY AFTER DAY  IT NEVER GOES AWAY.
WITHOUT THE LOVING WINGS OF GOD,
I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO.

I CAN'T TRY HARDER (OK, I GUESS I CAN) ((REVISED))

I CAN'T TRY ANY HARDER
THAN I ALREADY HAVE.
OKAY, MAYBE I CAN.
ALL MY PEACE
HAS SNEEKINGLY BEEN TAKEN AWAY FROM ME.
THEY STOLE IT
STRAIGHT OUT OF MY HEART,
STRAIGHT OUT OF MY SOUL.
HOW CAN I EVER GET IT BACK AGAIN?
I FEEL AS IF I'VE TRIED IT ALL,
BUT I JUST FEEL WORSE.
SO I GRAB MY BIBLE
AND START LOOKING FOR THE RIGHT VERSE.
AND THERE IT IS, POPPING OUT AT ME,
LIKE A PROPHECY.
JESUS HAS HIS WAYS.
I'M NOT ONE HUNDRED PERCENT,
BUT MY SOUL CERTAINLY FEELS ON THE MEND
AND, AS ALWAYS, I MUST REMIND MYSELF
THAT JESUS IS IN CONTROL.






PSALM 4:3 -- KNOW THAT THE LORD HAS SET APART HIS FAITHFUL SERVANT FOR HIMSELF; THE LORD HEARS WHEN I CALL TO HIM.


2 CORINTHIANS 5:7 -- FOR WE LIVE BY FAITH, NOT BY SIGHT.

FEELINGS (RVD)

HURTS AND
TEARS,
ALL OF THESE YEARS.
I TRY TO CLING TO GOD,
AND FALL TO MY KNEES.
THEN I GET INTERRUPTED,
AND THAT'S THE ABSOLUTELY LAST THING I NEED.
I NEED TO HEAR HIS VOICE,
I NEED HIM TO SPEAK TO ME,
COVER ME WITH HIS WINGS,
PROTECT ME.
HEAR THAT STILL QUIET VOICE 
I THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.
I WANT TO BE CLOSER TO GOD EVERY DAY.
I ASK MYSELF WHAT CAN I DO TO BECOME
A BETTER WOMAN OF GOD.
I WANT TO SET AN EXAMPLE,
BUT MOST OF ALL,
I WANT TO BE THERE FOR SOMEONE
THAT'S BEEN THROUGH IT ALL 
AND TELL THEM THAT THEY WILL MAKE IT.
EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY.
GOD IS THERE, RIGHT BY YOUR SIDE,
HE'S NEVER LEFT, HE'S JUST WAITING
FOR YOU TO COME OUT FROM THAT DARK PLACE
IN WHICH YOU'VE BEEN HIDING.

STARS (RVD)

I SIT ON MY LITTLE 
PLASTIC CHAIR
IN THE MIDNIGHT HOURS
OUTSIDE
UNABLE TO DO ANYTHING REALLY
BUT STARE UP AT THE BEAUTIFUL STARS 
IN THE UNLIMITED SKY.
AND I WONDER TO MYSELF
HOW ANYONE COULD EVER BELIEVE
THAT OUR PRECIOUS  CREATOR
DIDN'T CREATE SUCH A BREATHTAKING THING. ?
SOFTLY CRYING, 
TEARS, AS ALWAYS,
MAKING A PATH DOWN MY FACE.
I FEEL SO CLOSER TO OUR LORD 
WHEN I AM SITTING ALONE OUTSIDE.
ALTHOUGH I KNOW HE IS EVERYWHERE,
SOMEHOW I THINK HE CAN HEAR MY PRAYERS 
MORE CLEARLY OUT THERE.
I LOOK AT THE THREE SISTERS, 
AND REMEMBER HOW THEY LED PEOPLE HOME.
WILL THEY DO THE SAME FOR ME 
WHEN I AM READY TO BE GONE?
THIS EARTHLY BODY HAS BEEN LETTING ME DOWN.
I LONG FOR MY SPIRIT TO BE SET FREE
AND TO SIT FOREVER UNDER THE SHADE
OF A FAMILIAR COTTON WOOD TREE
AND LISTEN TO MY LORD'S WORDS 
FOR ALL OF ETERNITY.

LOVE REVISITED (AGAIN)

WHEN YOU HELD ME
WITHOUT COMPASSION
AND BENT ME TO YOUR WAY
YOU CLEANSED ME
AND FORGAVE ME
AND YOU MADE ME WHOLE
AND HEALED MY HEART
HEALED MY SOUL
BEFORE LIFE WAS A CHALLENGE
A WAR TO GET THROUGH
NO ONE TO TURN TO
BUT WHY NOW
DO I FEEL THE SAME
ALONE, SCARED,
IN DESPAIR,
ASHAMED?
I DON'T FEEL LOVED OR SPECIAL
EVEN WHEN YOU PROMISE ME I AM
WHAT AM I TO DO?
I KNOW YOU ARE THERE
HOW CAN YOU NOT BE
YOU ARE EVERYWHERE
I WORRY THAT I WILL NOT BE REMEMBERED
WORDS ARE JUST WORDS
BUT THE MEANING BEHIND THEM
MAKES A DIFFERENCE
LOVE

THIS GOD

LEAVE IT ALL
LEAVE IT AT THE DOOR
LISTEN TO THE MUSIC
HEAR THE WORDS
THEY ARE SAYING SOMEONE LOVES YOU
BUT HOW CAN THEY SAY THAT
IT THEY KNOW WHAT HE HAS DONE
HE HAS LIED
EVEN THOUGH HE HAS TRIED
HE HAS BROKEN THE COMMANDMENTS
ESPECIALLY THE  ONE ABOUT LOVE
BUT HOW CAN HE LOVE
SOMEONE WHO HAS HURT HIM
FOR NO REASON
EVERY SEASON
HE RUINED IT ALL
WHEN HE WAS SMALL
HE GUESSES THE ONLY WAY TO FORGIVE
AND LOVE
IS TO COME IN
AND ACCEPT THIS GOD

IT'S A NEW DAY

today's a new day
so take advantage
go out and play
or just do something you've never done before
close the window
and open a new door
God is waiting for you
right by your side
He's always been there
wondering if you'll ever decide
will you invite Him into your heart?
will you make a new start?
everything bad will be forgotten in His name
and you'll never be the same

DITZY (rvd)

your words hurt

they are useless to me

enjoy your invisibility

I hope you are happy with yourself

for right now I could give a flying fig

such a temperament for a woman of God to have I know

but I've never said I'm perfect

in fact, I'm very far from that

which maybe makes me perfect

to write these little ditties

because I am a weird combo

of ditzy and witty

g



MY USELESS HEART (rvd)

you broke my heart,
tore it into pieces.
how am I to put it back together again?
poor little humpty dumpty.
you're the last person I expected
to break it.
but there you are,
now I must mend it.
smashed into mush.
I love you so much.
why would you want to hurt me?
I've loved you so much, it's exerted me.
we must just move on,
let the healing be done by God alone,
that's the only thing we can do
if we want our love to continue.
but you've still hurt my heart,
and for that, I must forgive you.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

the devil very obviously doesn't want me to write today
probably because of the holiday
but that's just too bad
cuz he's not ever going to get his way
no matter the circumstances
I will always stand for Jesus

HAPPY HOLY DAYS

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR LORD,

THE ONE AND ONLY PROTECTOR FROM THIS WORLD.

THERE ARE SOME WHO WILL SAY

THAT HE WASN'T REALLY BORN ON THIS DAY.

BUT LET US ALL JUST HAVE A LITTLE FUN

AND JUST GIVE IN TO THE SPIN
 

HAPPY JOY AND HOLY DAYS,

SUNSHINE

 

 

I'M SOMETHING (RVD)

don't treat me as if I'm an imbecile.

I may be classified

as not quite there

physically.

but for your astonishing information,

my mind may be quite better than yours.

and the good news is

I'm a child of God,

which I tend to repeat

quite constantly

because I am proud to be a bride of the King

and I shall always and forever

shine my light brightly
and sing

NOT ASHAMED

BELIEVE WHAT YOU WANT ABOUT ADAM AND EVE,

IT WAS'NT JUST A MADE-UP ST0RY.

IF YOU'VE READ G0D'S W0RD

JUST A TINY LITTLE BIT,

AND I HAVE SOME OPINION ON IT.
AND IF YOU HAVEN'T READ TO THE END,
WHICH YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE,
0R EVEN T0 THE LOVELY B00K 0F ISAIAH,
THEN LISTEN TO MY WORDS
AND PLEASE BELIEVE WHAT GOD PROMISES.
THERE IS NO WAY
THAT G0D WOULD HAVE SACRFICED HIS SON
IF THERE WAS ANOTHER WAY TO HEAVEN.
I AM NOT AFRAID 0R ASHAMED
TO SAY
THAT JESUS CHRIST IS THE ONLY WAY

If you don't believe me

IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME

AND YOUR HEART CAN CHANGE IN A SNAP,

THEN JUST HOLD YOUR BREATH,

WISH UPON A STAR,

AND YOUR HEART CAN FEEL BETTER

JUST LIKE THAT.

EARLIER TODAY

YOU MIGHT HAVE TAKEN NOTICE

OF MY UNHAPPY MOOD.

DESPITE MY FREQUENT

DESPERATE AND SEVERAL REQUESTS,

MY DOCTOR REFUSED

TO BE MOVED.

I AM SO VERY HAPPY

THAT SHE IS NOT IN CONTROL

AND THAT JESUS HOLDS THE HEALING TOUCH,
THE ONLY SAVING TOUCH.
 I AM MORE THAN ALLOWED TO GET ANGRY,

JUST AS LONG AS I DO MOT SIN IN MY CHAGRIN.

SO I FORGIVE HER WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED
AND PROMISED TO CALL AND HELP.

MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE JUST YELPED?
BUT THE ONLY C0RRECT ANSWER
IS FORGIVENESS
DESPITE MY VERY OBVIOUS
DISTRESS.

 

AGAIN AND AGAIN

I BEG FOR HELP,

YET YOU TURN ME AWAY

AS IF I WAS SOME KIND OF PARIAH.

IT'S JUST ME,

PLAIN OLD SHERRIE,

IN TEARS,

PAIN,

FEARFUL,

AGGRAVATED,

FEELING A LITTLE ASSAULTED.

WHY WON'T YOU HELP?

HAVE I GIVEN YOU REASON?

TISN'T THIS THE VERY SEASON

TO BE MORE GRACIOUS

AS WE CELEBRATE THE BIRTH

OF OUR PRECIOUS JESUS?

I KNOW HE WASN'T REALLY BORN

IN THE WINTER,

BUT MORE PROBABLY THE SPRING.

BUT WHO CAN KNOW SUCH THINGS FOR SURE

BESIDES THE ONE WHO GAVE BIRTH TO OUR SAVIOR?

SO WE MIGHT AS WELL

JOIN WITH THE REST OF THIS WORLD

AND CELEBRATE OUR KING,

BEGINNING WITH FORGIVENESS

FOR THOSE WHO DON'T WANT TO HELP

THE SICK AND NEEDY

ESPECIALLY THOSE WHO NEED IT MOST.

BITTER? MOI? (LOL)

THEY MAKE AN OATH,

PROMISE TO FIRST DO NO HARM,

YET WHEN YOU NEED THEM,

THEY DISAPPEAR

PRETENDING AS OF THEY HAVE NO TIME

FOR YOUR PAINS AND TEARS.

I WONDER IF YOU ARE JUST SICK OF MY COMPLAINTS.

BUT WHAT AM I TO DO, WHOM AM I TO TURN TO

WHEN I'M IN SO MUCH PAIN

THAT I FIND IT HARD TO SLEEP,

TO REST,

TO GET THE BEST?

I KNOW I CAN ONLY CALL A FEW TIMES

BEFORE YOU JUST WANT TO HANG UP ON ME.

BUT WHY SAY YOU WILL HELP ME IN THE FIRST PLACE?

WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT OATH YOU TOOK?

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR JOY IN HELPING OTHERS?

MY OWN MOTHER DIDN'T CARE ABOUT ME,

BUT SHE WOULD HELP ME NOW MORE THAN YOU WOULD WANT TO BOTHER OR INTERRUPT YOUR SO BUSY SCHEDULE.

APPARENTLY THAT'S MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE ACTUAL INDIVIDUAL.

I AM JUST GLAD THAT GOD DOESN'T HAVE A DOCTOR'S COMPLEX.

GET OVER YOURSELF.

IF SO, THIS WORLD WOULD BE SO MUCH LESS OF A MESS.

abba

the pain is back,
what's new?
but the doctor doesn't care,
or does not seem to.
no surprise there.
they know not of the words emergency,
sympathy nor empathy
they only know the word 'me'.
if something untoward happens,
it seems to spin their heads
and they find it hard to understand
that the suffering is worse
and when the pain takes over,
you just don't have the words,
what is one to do?

I believe again

i believe in angels
they are always there
everywhere
their bodies are different
but somehow they tend
to blend in
they do the work
that we cannot
they connect us
to the Rock

PROTECTED (rvd)

early in the morning

praying for a better day

in the hospital

three times today

so how can it be worse?

my sister, who carries a gun

has threatened me several times

but I know I am protected

by his blood and his sacrifice.

Forgiveness (RVD)

Your family on this place
we call earth
will disappoint,
will let you down,
will frown upon your life.
But your Father in heaven
can never be ashamed of you
no matter what you do.
If God actually knows 
the number of hairs on your head 
and has collected all of your tears,
how can He reject you or anything you do?Don't give up on life
or what you are destined to do.
Love the Lord with all of your heart
and try to forget the sins 
of your father
or your mother
or whomever.
I myself was abandoned and abused,
but here I stand, 
upon the rock,
alive and well
and bursting to tell
the entire world
or anyone who will listen
of the agape love of our Lord.