WISDOM (UPDATED WITH SCRIPTURE)

I pray

every day

 for wisdom.

The kind that God gave to King Solomon.

I want to be a better steward,

for I know I am blessed.

I don't want to waste

what God has given me

the way I have in the past.

It's hard for me to admit, too,

that I've been fooled

by get-rich-quick schemes,

not keeping my eyes on the prize,

but on my own fantasies and dreams.
Gullible, that's me.

Not that God doesn't want to bless us,

because He does,

and only by His grace.

But we need to be in a place

where we can handle His blessings

without losing them

on a whim.

More than anything, I want to give back,

to help those in need,

not just my family or friends,

but those who I consider my enemies.

I'd rather go without

if that means I can clothe or feed someone,

give them shelter, a warm bed, 

give an orphan a loving home.

So, Lord, before you bless me,

please make me ready.

All I ask

is just half

of the wisdom

you gave

to King Solomon.

Please?

JAMES 1:5

IF ANY OF YOU LACKS WISDOM,
YOU SHOULD ASK GOD,
WHO GIVES GENEROUSLY TO ALL WITHOUT FINDING FAULT.
AND IT WILL BE GIVEN TO YOU.

Encouragement (UPDATED WITH SCRIPTURE)

Encourage someone,

saved or not,

we've all been there,

we've all been lost.

We all have days

where we feel all alone,

as if no one could understand

what we're going through.

We all need to hear

a kind word or two.

Those words of encouragement

will come back to you.

1 THESSALONIANS 5:11

THEREFORE ENCOURAGE ONE ANOTHER
AND BUILD EACH OTHER UP,
JUST AS IN FACT YOU ARE DOING.

Never Give Up (UPDATED WITH SCRIPTURE)

Never give up,
never give in,

never stop praying for what you want.

If it's God's will, it will happen.

All in His time,

which is so different from ours.

We think in minutes,

He thinks in years.

I waited,

not so patiently,
every single night

drenching my pillow with my tears.

But my God hears,

He knows,

He sees

our wants and needs;
everything.

Take it off of your shoulders,
give it to Him.

Nothing is too small or too big

for our Lord.

Never give up,
never give in,

never stop praying.
For my sweet Jesus
gave His life for you and me
on Calvary.

1 THESSALONIANS 5:16-18

REJOICE ALWAYS,

PRAY CONTINUALLY,

GIVE THANKS IN ALL CIRCUMSTANCES;

FOR THIS IS GOD'S WILL FOR YOU IN CHRIST JESUS.

Does God Cry? (UPDATED WITH SCRIPTURE)

I sometimes wonder if God cries

when a child strays.

I cried

when my child walked away.

It breaks your heart

when your child no longer wishes to be a part

of your life.

So how much more would the God of light

feel the pain

when a child he loves

beyond compare

walks away?

God waits for us so patiently.

And He goes out of His way

to find that one sheep that has strayed.

I strayed.
I walked away.
But I turned back to the light
when my life
became dark and sad,
lonely and mad.
I don't want to make Jesus cry.
So why do I keep on sinning and complaining?
He died on the cross
when I was lost.
The nails in his hands and feet,
the blood running
down,
cut deep.
So what do you think?
Does God cry?

PSALM 10:17

YOU, LORD, HEAR THE DESIRE OF THE AFFLICTED;

YOU ENCOURAGE THEM

AND YOU LISTEN TO THEIR CRY.

Plant a Seed (UPDATED WITH SCRIPTURE)

Plant a seed,

whisper in someone's ear,

let them know

how dear they are

to our Creator, the Lord.

Encourage a friend.
Pray for that person who you believe
is your enemy.

Smile at a stranger.
Feed the homeless.

Find the time

to do something kind.

Pass it on.

Pray for the lost.

It will make you feel better,

help you forget your own needs and wants

if you plant a seed.
Do it today, don't wait,
for all we know,
tomorrow could be too late.

MATTHEW 13

THE PARABLE OF THE SOWER

My Heart Breaks (UPDATED)

Dreaming of you,

wishing there was some way I could turn back time

and erase all the mistakes I've made.

Will you ever forgive me,

let me be back into your life?

My heart is breaking,

remembering the times

when we were together

and you called me your mother.

What can I do,

what can I say,

to see your lovely face again,

to hold you in my arms,

to tell you how much you have been loved since the day you were born?

My precious,  my love,

I wish I could  take away your pain.

I pray that you open your heart to the Lord,

let Him take your hurts away.

Come back to me

for I fear I can't wait

another day.

My heart breaks.

PLEASE PRAY FOR THE RETURN OF MY PRODIGAL DAUGHTER.

John Three Sixteen

Sadness, anger and pain.

Such is my life,

just more of the same.

When will it ever change?

Patience running thin,

frustration setting in.

All of these closed doors.

Why is the answer always "No"?

But my stubbornness and faith

keep me searching for that one open window.

Struggling to stay on the right path,

guided by the light and the lamp,

following the cross.

No room for false prophets.

No more tarot cards,

reading palms,

astrology charts,

psychics or mediums.

No more

unseeing,

unfeeling,

unloving

false gods. 

There is only one true God

who sacrificed His one and only son

for a sinner such as me,

nailed to a tree,

crimson blood flowing

free.

Would a loving God such as this

give us a quiz,
request us to choose

between A, B or C

when the answer is,

plainly,

John Three Sixteen?

JOHN 3:16 -

FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD,
THAT HE GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON THAT WHO SO EVER SHOULD BELIEVE IN HIM SHALL NOT PERISH BUT HAVE EVERLASTING LIFE.

I Open My Heart (updated with scripture)

Wondering,

hoping,

praying on my knees

that Jesus

will hear me, please.

You know our needs

before we even see them.

I want to stay in His will,

please Him.

Purify my heart, Lord, don't forsake me.

No matter what happens here on this earth,

all I really want is to worship at your feet

for all of eternity.

So whatever it takes,

whatever you want,

Lord 

I open my heart.

MATTHEW 7:7

ASK AND IT WILL BE GIVEN TO YOU;

SEEK AND YOU WILL FIND;

KNOCK AND THE DOOR WILL BE OPEN TO YOU.

Another Chance (UPDATED WITH SCRIPTURE)

Another disappointment,

another bump in the road,

another chance to remind me

that God's in control.

Another chance not to freak out,

panic,

worry,

doubt.

God will get the glory,

everything will be all right.

He holds me in His hands,

and I will follow His light.

What can go wrong

if Jesus is my song?

Just another chance

to dance David's dance.

ISAIAH 40:31

BUT THOSE WHO HOPE IN THE LORD WILL RENEW THEIR STRENGTH.

THEY WILL SOAR ON WINGS LIKE EAGLES;

THE WILL RUN AND NOT GROW WEARY,

THEY WILL WALK AND NOT BE FAINT.

He Created Me (UPDATED WITH SCRIPTURE)

Don't look down on me

just because I may have a disability.

I'm not different inside,

I'm still a person, a part of this life.

It's not easy being me,

living with this disability,

the looks,

the stares,

the snickers,

the glares.

I'm glad to be different,

I wouldn't want to be the same,

and if that means I have to live this life lame,

then it's part of God's will.

Even still,

have some compassion,

ask a question,

treat me

as if you were the one with the disability.

And disability doesn't equal stupidity.

I may have to be pushed around
in a wheelchair
and have to build up a wall
against all the stares,

but I'm a child of God,

and He loves me

God created me

to be.

PSALM 126:5

THOSE WHO SOW WITH TEARS

WILL REAP WITH SONGS OF JOY.

AMEN!

Jesus Has Been Through It All (UPDATED WITH SCRIPTURE)

When you wake up, every morning,

praying

that for just today,

please Lord, can you hold the pain at bay,

it's easy to wonder

how God can possibly

use you

because

your attitude gets in the way,

becomes a stumbling block

to what God wants to do.

You look back at the so called friends

who've lost interest or become fed up with you over these years,

with your grumbling

and constant complaining.

But if only they could walk

just one day in your shoes

then maybe they would lose

their lack of empathy,

sympathy,

trust

that you feel they should have

in abundance.

What has happened to the sisterhood,

to that vision you had

so long ago,

of one woman helping the other

up the ladder

into the clouds,

into heaven?

Why cast away a sister who is in constant pain?

I don't understand,

I don't know God's plan,

why he chose me

to live this life of physical misery.

I want to be used,

to lose this attitude,

to help the hurting,

the lost, the lonely,

to let them know they're not alone.

I've been there,

I know what it's like

to want another life.

And as I recall,

Jesus has been through it all.

I CORINTHIANS 10:13

NO TEMPTATION HAS OVERTAKEN YOU
EXCEPT WHAT IS COMMON TO MANKIND.
AND GOD IS FAITHFUL;
HE WILL NOT LET YOU BE TEMPTED
BEYOND WHAT YOU CAN BEAR.
BUT WHEN YOU ARE TEMPTED,
HE WILL ALSO PROVIDE
A WAY OUT
SO THAT YOU CAN ENDURE IT.

BLESSINGS IN THE LITTLE THINGS (UPDATED WITH SCRIPTURE)

I like to look for blessings

in the smallest of things.

Like my cute little dog,
my adorable dachshund Elvis,

waddling along,

his tail wagging him,

instead of the other way round,
then burrowing under the covers as far as he can,
warming my feet,
whatever the weather.
And then my silly but sweet cat Panda
batting at Elvis' tail,
then settling down on the pillows,
nearly on top of my head.
But I don't mind,
because it just makes me feel all the more loved.
And my doctor

taking care of me,

individually,

taking his time.

And then coming home

to a soft bed

and the fan overhead

stirring the air,
while my little water fountain
sings a crystal clear sweet melody.

Knowing sometime today

I'll get a text from my sweet granddaughter

telling me how much I am loved.

Not to mention my two sons reminding me again 
what a special mom I am.

It's the little things in life

that best reflect God's light
and His love
for all of us.

I JOHN 4:8

WHOEVER DOES NOT LOVE
DOES NOT KNOW GOD,
BECAUSE GOD IS LOVE.

THERE'S NOTHING HE WOULDN'T DO! (UPDATED WITH A SPECIAL SCRIPTURE)

I try to tell God what I want,

and He tells me, no, 

that He wants to give me much more.

He loves me more than I love myself,

knows me inside and out,

more than anyone else.

I don't have a clue

why this is true.

I just know that He loves me

and it's time to move forward,

stop looking back at my mistakes,

forgive myself, stop playing the blame game.

I can't change the things that I've done,

but one thing I can do is move on.

It's finally time

to receive

what God promised me.

The journey has been long,

and for the most part,

I've traveled alone.

I've taken some detours along the way.

I've strayed.
And, okay,
I admit I rested on the fence for a while.

But I'm back

on track,

on the road

that leads home.

I've finally

stepped into the land

of milk and honey.

The air is sweet,

the path soft beneath my feet.

My heart is so full

of God's love

I'm afraid

I can't contain it.

If I could

I would

climb up to the top of the highest mountain

and proclaim God's love,

scream and shout,

dance the dance of David.

But I can't,

so instead,

I'll shout with my words,

with the gift that God has granted.

GOD LOVES YOU,

GOD LOVES ME,

AND THERE'S NOTHING

HE WOULDN'T DO

FOR ANY ONE OF YOU
FOR ALL OF ETERNITY!

ISIAH 43:18

FORGET THE FORMER THINGS;
DO NOT DWELL ON THE PAST.
SEE I AM DOING A NEW THING,
NOW IT SPRINGS UP.
DO YOU NOT PERCEIVE IT?
I AM MAKING A WAY
IN THE WILDERNESS
AND STREAMS
IN THE WASTELAND.*

GOD PROMISED ME THIS ABOUT 30 YEARS AGO.  SO HIS ANSWER WAS YES.  IT MAY SEEM LIKE A LONG TIME,
BUT IT'S REALLY JUST A BLINK OF AN EYE.

REMEMBER,
PRAY
UNCEASINGLY.

DREAMING (UPDATED WITH SCRIPTURE)

Daydreaming,
I joyfully watch my worries flutter away

on the fragile wings of a purple butterfly.

I'm lying on the grass,

soft as a feather,
and smelling so new.

The sweet grass feels like velvet against my cheek
and tickles my toes.

The gentle breeze

plays a joyful melody,
as does the bubbling of the creek
winding its way by my side.
The setting orange sun is reflected in the water,

causing the cool water to shimmer.

The clouds, so white

against the sky,

playfully drift by.
That one just passing
looked a little like a sheep.
I close my eyes, praying, 
hoping,
waiting
to hear

that still, quiet voice 

whispering in my ear,
the one that speaks to my heart.

If this is just a dream,
I never want to leave.

 All I really want to do
is to break free of these chains
that bind me to this earth,
go home
where I belong

and walk
hand-in-hand

with my Creator,
Jesus my Lord.

PROVERBS 8:34
BLESSED ARE THOSE WHO LISTEN TO ME, WATCHING DAILY AT MY DOORS,
WAITING AT MY DOORWAY.

MY HEART'S DOOR (UPDATED WITH SCRIPTURE)

God waited for me,

patiently.

When I was deep in sin,

He reeled me in.

He knew I needed Him.

It's hard to accept such unconditional love

when you've never received it,

or maybe

they just thought I didn't need it.

There were more important things at hand.

But how could they expect a two-year-old to understand
or even know
that being born healthy
was wrong?

So I was left alone,
shoved in the dusty corner
full of spiders

in a very crowded home.

So many people around,

but no love or compassion
anywhere to be felt or found.

Left to myself,

gathering dust on the shelf.

Unpredictable,

invisible,

bitterness,

resentment.

Why

would you let a hurting little girl cry

all night,

in fright?

Scarred for life.

Painful memories.

Thank you, Jesus, for rescuing me,

waiting so patiently.

I never knew love before

I opened my heart's door,
and there you were,
as if you had been waiting just for me.

You knew, 

you saw,

you never let go,

and you love me so.

JOHN 3:16

I'M NOT FINISHED YET (UPDATED)

The more I try

to stay on the right

side

of the straight and narrow,

the more the enemy fights,
out of sight.
He prowls around

like a hungry lion
in the darkest shadows of night,
and in damp corners he hides.
But I'm not afraid,

scared or ashamed,

because if the enemy

takes the time to come against me,

then I know I must be making some progress,
making a statement.

And even though I'm exhausted, 
and in great need of rest,

I won't stop

until my work is finished.
And since I woke up this morning,
I am not finished yet.

And I've read the story 

all the way to the end,
(spoiler alert)

and I our side wins.

Ephesians 6:12 - For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

MISSING YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK (COMPLETELY RE-WRITTEN WITH SCRIPTURE)

I pray

that I will hear from you 

this Mother's Day,

that my heart won't be broken like it has been

so many times before.
O, the pain,
I don't think I can stand it another day.

I so fervently yearn 

for the sound of 
your beautiful voice.
Do you know that you sound
like an angel
when you sing to Him?
Sara,

I o so miss the smell of your hair
that smells of flowers
after a spring shower,

And the look in your beautiful blue eyes.
There is nothing to compare.

But you are still not here
in your mama's arms
where you belong.
God knew that if I had known
it would be this long,
I would have given up the ghost
long ago.
But,
instead,
I turned to Him
and started writing my journal.
(this blog,
my poetry)

If only I knew

what I could do

to have you back in my life,
I would do it.
Anything
except
give up my faith.

Because you have to know,
no matter the reason,
that not seeing you

is cutting 
like broken glass
into every single beat of my heart.

I try to give it to God 

because I can't stand the thought

of another day going by

without seeing you, my sweet love,
my Sara Bear,
the apple of my eye.

I hold on to the hope
and my Lord

that this is all part of His plan,

because I know, without a doubt,

Jesus holds both of our lives in His hands.

I gave you to Him

the very first second you were born,
because I knew He had a special plan,

and that you were just on loan

You needed to be set free.
Fly, my sweet,
as long as you please,

But can I ask just one thing?

Come back to me
occasionally.
Let me be your Mama again,
although, in my heart,
I always have been.

I won't stop praying

until you are back in my arms.

I'll never give up on you

even if I have to wait
to see you
in sweet eternity,
worshiping Jesus together,
holding hands
and kneeling at His feet.

LUKE 15: 11-32

THE PARABLE OF THE LOST SON

HERE I STAND (UPDATED WITH SCRIPTURE)

Another day, another chance

to make things right,
to fight the good fight.

I am blessed.

But I sure wish this pain

would stop raining

on my parade.
And this little dark cloud
following me around?
That has to stop
right now.
I know
I could use some focus,

introspection,

contemplation.
And who couldn't use
more time
with our Lord?

I tell myself,

some sunny day

things will change.

I  walk by faith.
Is there any other way?
I have to,
I'm a little short-sighted.
Most importantly,
though
I seem to recall you told me to.

But the sour taste of bitterness

chokes

my throat.

Why am I the one

who was chosen

to live this

life of suffering
and share with the hundreds of thousands
of people all around your world
that you hold in your hand
my deepest hurts
and innermost heartfelt feelings?

I cut my finger,

and I scream.

I am haunted

by my dreams.
Who is more sensitive than me?

But I believe

God, my Creator, believes in me
when no one else ever has.

He chose me for a purpose,

so I could tell others that they are not worthless.

I'd rather be in pain,

every day the same,

than live separated

from the One who made us,
Jesus.

Life's not fair,
He never once said it would be.
But here I am.
On solid ground, here I still stand

another day,
another month,
another year,
another decade.
I'm in more pain now,
but I'm still here
and here I will be
until I've reached
the finish line.

ISAIAH 43:18-19,

FORGET THE FORMER THINGS,

DO NOT DWELL ON THE PAST.

SEE

I AM DOING A NEW THING, NOW IT SPRINGS UP.

DO YOU NOT PERCEIVE IT?

I AM MAKING A WAY IN THE WILDERNESS

AND STREAMS IN THE WASTELAND.

GALATIANS 6:9

LET US NOT BECOME WEARY IN DOING GOOD,

FOR AT THE PROPER TIME WE WILL REAP A HARVEST

IF WE DO NOT GIVE UP.

I AM NOT ASHAMED

I AM NOT ASHAMED TO TELL THE WORLD

ABOUT MY LORD,

JESUS,

AND HOW HE SAVED ME

FROM MYSELF

AND AN ETERNITY

AWAY FROM HIS PRESENCE,

HIS HELP,

SEPARATED.

THE MORE THE ENEMY TRIES,

LIES,

THE MORE I WILL FIGHT,

KEEP MY SIGHT

ON THE PRIZE.

NOTHING ON THIS EARTH

HAS WORTH

COMPARED TO WHAT HAS BEEN SET ASIDE

IN PARADISE.

DON'T WASTE THE TIME WE HAVE LEFT.

DON'T REST

UNTIL EVERYONE HAS HAD A CHANCE

TO KNOW THE TRUTH,

TO BE SET FREE

FROM THE CHAINS

THAT BIND THEM,

THE ENEMY.

John 8:32
"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. "