Just as you are (revised)

It's one in the morning.
I'm in pain.
And it seems if no one cares.
My husband lies behind me,
 And my dog and my cat
snuggle close to me,
but they're sleeping
so quietly.
But here I am, awakened by the pain.
Will it ever go away, Lord?
Will it ever subside?
Or is to be the thorn in my side?
Does anyone understand
the constant pain I am in?
There are days I cannot even walk,
bent over 
as if I was 
10,000 years old.
Poor me, I say to myself,
trying to be reminded of the
terrifying pain 
Christ went through for me
and for you.
He was dressed in swaddling clothes
the minute he was born.
So he knew he was meant to sacrifice
his life for the unknown.
Did he know me over a thousand years ago
all the suffering I would endure?
Is my suffering just a way
to draw me closer to Jesus,
or a way to make me pay?
No, it's not all my fault,
I constantly have to remind myself.
I'm washed in the blood,
washed clean by the crimson flood.
But then why must endure
the midnights I am awakened by the pain?
No amount of medicine can alieve
what I go through.
It's is definitely never what
I would choose for myself,
let alone anyone else.
But if my suffering 
draws me closer to my King
and can possibly help 
someone who suffers too
and has no one to turn to,
then all the suffering and pain
will be worth it in the end
if I'm able to plant a seed of hope
in the lonely and helpless and hopeless
and those who feel all alone.
Your are not alone.  
I am here to let you
know what I've been through,
and that there are others 
who feel what you feel.
Don't give up, I beg you.
For Jesus gave his life
for little old me and for you.
Not the strong of this world,
but the broken and week
to shame the strong and the proud.
He loves us just as we are,
lonely and unloved,
looking for someone who understands
what it's like to suffer alone.
Yesterday I could not walk.
But I know my Savior will heal me eventually,
even if it takes to the end of days.
In heaven I shall be whole again,
a child playing in a field of flowers,
sitting at my Lord's feet,
listening with awe
at his beautiful stories.
I long for that day
when the suffering is at bay,
the loneliness over and done,
finished forever,
in my sweet Lord Jesus' arms.
And I shall live forever with Him
and all of my loved ones.
So I am begging you
to please don't give up,
please don't give in.
There is grace in your pain and suffering.
There is grace in all of our sins.
For Jesus sees it all
and you will be rewarded 
if you can just hang in til the end.
Jesus has not come for the strong,
but for the broken such as you and me.
Don't ever believe otherwise,
for He love us just as we are,
alone and lonely,
a broken sunshine.