IS IT ME? (RVD)

HERE I LIE, LORD, 
BROKEN,
WISHING THINGS WERE DIFFERENT,
BUT KNOWING 
DEEP DOWN IN MY HEART
THAT THINGS WILL NEVER CHANGE.
AND THAT HURTS.
I MUST, SOMEHOW, COME TO TERMS
WITH WHAT HAS BEEN PUT ON MY PLATE.
HAVE YOU DONE THIS, LORD,
OR IS IT JUST ME?
AM I THE ONE WHO MESSED IT UP?
HAVE I NOT DRUNKEN FROM THE RIGHT CUP?
HOW CAN I GUARD MY HEART LIKE YOU SAY
WHEN I AM SO SENSITIVE IN EVERY WAY?
AM I THE ONE 
WHO IS RESPONSIBLE 
FOR THIS BROKENNESS?
IF SO, PLEASE FORGIVE ME, LORD,
AND CHANGE ME,
KNIT TOGETHER MY SOUL.

PROVERBS 4:2-3:

ABOVE ALL ELSE, GUARD YOUR HEART,

FOR EVERYTHING YOU DO

FLOWS THROUGH IT.