WHO EVER SAID FORGIVENESS IS EASY? (UPDATED WITH SCRIPTURE)

How can I forgive my mother who has,
 with spitting words

filled with loathing,

called me a drug addict

just because I need to be on pain medicine 
for six herniated discs and fibromyalgia?

How can I forgive my only sister

who has, filled with hate,

mistreated me,
beat me,
lied about me to the rest of the family?

After all of the abuse
fragile me 
has received,
why am I so surprised
that it continues,
no end in sight?

I know that Jesus and the apostles

had it worse.

But that doesn't mean
 that it doesn't cut me through the bone,

into the heart,

blood dripping
down, 
down, 
down,
pooling on the floor.

Jesus felt the same.

The hurt, the pain,

barely able to contain 
the disappointment.

You live your life trying to please others 
with all that you have in you.

And what do you get for it?

Beatings that no one will ever in their lifetime admit.

Cruel abusive teasing for whatever

reason:
resentment,
embarrassment,
disappointment,
clueless.

All I've ever tried to do 
is beg for my mother's approval.
All I've ever wanted is a big sister.

But I know for a certainty
that I am a chosen child of God,
grafted into HIS family tree.

And I know for a certainty
that Jesus loves me
just the way I am,
warts and all.

So I MUST forgive
if I wish to spend eternity 
with the only one
who has ever
truly
honestly
loved me.

And the beatings and the cruel teasing
 will be forgotten.

All of my tears,
all of these many years,
my Jesus collected them in a bottle.

And after all of this,
when I have finished this seemingly endless race,

I will live in eternal bliss.

And no one can ever take that away from me.

Jesus lives in me.

1 JOHN 5:5

WHO IS IT THAT OVERCOMES THE WORLD?

ONLY THE ONE WHO BELIEVES

THAT JESUS IS THE SON OF GOD.