SILLY MOI,
WHY, O WHY I HAVE NOT LEARNED
THIS PARTICULAR LESSON?
(SMACKING MY HEAD HERE.)
AND EVEN THOUGH IT'S BEEN SIX DECADES NOW,
IT STILL HURTS,
WHAT YOU SAY,
THE WAY YOU SAY IT,
AS IF SHE AND HER HUSBAND WERE PERFECT.
PUTTING ME LAST JUST BECAUSE I USED TO BE HEALTHY.
I ABSOLUTELY REFUSE TO ALLOW
THAT TOXICITY IN MY LIFE
ANY MORE.
THAT CHAPTER IS OVER.
MOST ESPECIALLY NOW,
DUE TO THE FACT
THAT
AS YOU PROBABLY HAVE NOT YET NOTICED,
I AM NOT DOING VERY WELL
PHYSICALLY.
I PROBABLY NEED NOT ONLY BACK SURGERY,
BUT KNEE SURGERY AS WELL.
THE ONLY WAY I CAN WALK
IS WITH A BRACE ON MY LEFT LEG
AND LEANING ON CRUTCHES
SO MY BACK DOESN'T COLLAPSE
LIKE A STACK OF DOMINOES.
BUT AT LEAST LITTLE SUNSHINE
IS FINALLY SUFFERING.
SHE'S GOT A TASTE OF WHAT THE FAVORITE DAUGHTER
HAD TO SUFFER ALL OF HER LIFE.
ARE YOU CELEBRATING?
IF YOU ARE, CAN I PLEASE HAVE THE BALLOONS
AFTER YOU ARE FINISHED MAKING ME FEEL WORSE?
YET, AGAIN, NOT MY FAULT.
BUT THINGS ARE EQUAL NOW, RIGHT?
HELLO, MY NAME IS SHERRIE, AND I'M STILL YOUR DAUGHTER, AREN'T I?
THEN WHERE IS THE LOVE?
YOU ARE VERY GOOD AT TALKING THE TALK,
BUT WALKING THE WALK?...
AND THEN YOU JUST HAVE TO BRING UP MY PAST
MISTAKES,
YOU CAN'T HELP YOURSELF.
YOU NEVER LET GO.
I SO MANY TIMES WONDER,
DO YOU LET GO OF HERS?
AS IF DEAR SIS HAS NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG,
BECAUSE OF THE POLIO.
AND SHERRIE CAN JUST BE SHOVED INTO A CORNER,
AS USUAL,
INVISIBLE.
WE MUST HIDE HER BECAUSE SHE HAS BEEN UNFORTUNATE ENOUGH TO BE BORN
LOOKING JUST LIKE HER FATHER.
PLEASE LISTEN TO THIS LITTLE MISS:
EVERY TIME YOU BRING UP THE PAST,
IT JUST TAKES ME TO A VERY BAD PLACE,
AND I TRY TO COVER MY SOBS
SO I DON'T GET YET ANOTHER
DEGRADING
CONVERSATION
ABOUT ME AND MY RIDICULOUS SENSITIVITY
YET AGAIN.
I HAVE SINCE DISCOVERED THOUGH
THAT SENSITIVITY IS A GIFT FROM MY SWEET JESUS.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN BLESSED ENOUGH
TO SEE ANGELS,
FEEL THE FLUTTER OF THEIR WINGS
AGAINST YOUR CHEEK?
AND IF I DID NOT HAVE THIS GIFT
HOW WOULD I BE HAVING
ALL OF THESE
VISIONS?
WHICH I SHALL NOT SHARE WITH YOU,
UNLESS YOU ASK ME,
CUZ I KNOW YOU,
AND YOU WOULD MOST LIKELY,
GIVEN OUR HISTORY,
IMMEDIATELY LOCK ME UP
AND THROW AWAY THE KEY.
GEEZE - YOU CRY BABY YOU!
YOU NEVER HAVE GIVEN ME A CHANCE.
DID YOU EVEN READ THE CHILDREN'S STORY
THAT IS IN HONOR OF GRANDDADDY?
HAVE ANY OF THE CLAN
TAKEN A MINUTE OR TWO
TO READ ANY OF MY
POEMS
THAT,
BY THE WAY,
PROBABLY TO YOUR DISMAY,
HAVE BEEN READ BY WAY OVER 70 COUNTRIES?
JUST TWO OF THEM, AS I AM AWARE
HAVE READ MY POETRY.
AND I AM NOT ABOUT TO SHARE
WHO THEY ARE.
JUST KNOW THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL GODLY WOMEN
AND GIVE ME COMFORT AND GOD'S LOVE
AND MAKE SURE MY PITY PARTIES,
LIKE THE ONE I'M HAVING AT THIS IMMEDIATE TIME
INCLUDE JESUS
BUT DON'T GO PAST
SLEEP TIME.
(I SURE COULD USE SOME DECORATIONS AND BALLOONS, THO.)
HAVE NOT YOU ALWAYS TOLD ME TO
PULL MYSELF UP BY MY BOOTSTRAPS?
WELL, I AM ASKING YOU TO DO THE SAME NOW.
AND READ
AT LEAST ONE OF THE POEMS I HAVE WRITTEN,
ANYTHING THAT SPEAKS ABOUT
ALL OF THE HORRENDOUS PAIN
I HAVE GONE THROUGH,
THE UNENDING JEALOUSLY OF MY SISTER
AND SORROW.
THEN YOU, GOD WILLING,
JUST MIGHT
GET
IT.
I AM A CHILD OF GOD,
A DAUGHTER OF THE MOST HIGH KING.
I HEREBY REBUKE ANY NEGATIVITY YOU DESIRE TO BRING INTO MY LIFE, BECAUSE YOU HAVE OBVIOUSLY NOT YET STUDIED EPHESIANS 4:29.
NO WORDS THAT DO NOT BUILD OTHERS UP, HELP THEM ACCORDING TO THEIR NEEDS, ENCOURAGE THEM, LOVE THEM WITH JESUS' LOVE AND BENEFIT THOSE WHOM YOU ARE SPEAKING TO, BUT ALSO ANYONE WHO MAY BE LISTENING IN, WE, AS CHRISTIANS, SHOULD BE VERY CAREFUL AND PRAYERFUL WHAT WE DO OR SAY, NO MATTER THE CIRCUMSTANCE.
AFTER ALL,
ISN'T THAT WHAT WE ARE CALLED TO DO?
SPREAD HIS LOVE, NO MATTER THE COST?
PS: HERE IS MY HEART AGAIN LORD. COULD YOU PLEASE GUARD IT MORE, CUZ I DID GIVE IT TO YOU YESTERDAY, BUT I AM ASHAMED TO SAY I TOOK IT BACK THIS MORNING.
EPHESIANS 4:29
DO NOT LET UNWHOLESOME TALK
COME OUT OF YOUR MOUTHS,
BUT ONLY WHAT IS HELPFUL
FOR BUILDING OTHERS UP
ACCORDING TO THEIR NEEDS
THAT IT MAY BENEFIT THOSE WHO LISTEN.
PSALM 4:23
ABOVE ALL ELSE, GUARD YOUR HEART,
FOR EVERYTHING YOU DO FLOWS FROM IT.
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