SCARED

I LONG TO LET GO 
OF THESE HEAVY EARTHLY BURDENS
THAT ARE ABSOLUTELY OF NO USE,
NOT TO MENTION, NONSENSE.

OH MY LORD,

STICK A FORK IN ME
CUZ I'M DONE.
I'M TRYING TO STICK AROUND FOR THE LAST LITTLE BIT OT THIS,
BUT,
HONESTLY,
I'M BORED OF IT ALL.
BANGING ON THE SAME DOORS AND WINDOWS
YEAR AFTER YEAR.
THE BLOOD HAS DRIED,
BUT IT'S STILL THERE.
I NEVER SEEM TO MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE.
HELLO! IS ANYONE THERE?

IT'S NOT LIKE I'M GONNA SAY NO TO YOU,
THOUGH, LORD.
AT LEAST I'VE LEARNED THAT MUCH.
BUT

I'VE TRIED,
I'M TIRED,
AND I'M ABSOLUTELY OVER
ALL OF THIS RIDICULOUS IN-FIGHTING.

AM I JUST NOT SEEING THE FOREST
FOR THE TREES,
SO TO SPEAK,
THROUGH A GLASS DARKLY?
I WRITE
BECAUSE THAT IS THE ONLY THING,
BESIDES YOUR HOLY GHOST
 THAT HELPS
HEAL THE SCARS
AND THE DEEP WOUNDS.
BUT WHY SEND ME,
ONE WHO WAS RAISED IN SMALL SOUTHERN BAPTIST
CHURCHES
WHERE THE ATTENDANCE 
WOULD HARDLY EXCEED
THIRTY.
WHY LEAD ME HERE?
WHAT CAN I DO?
I'M EITHER ROLLING AROUND IN A WHEELCHAIR
OR HOBBLING ON A CANE.
I KNOW NO ONE,
AND NO ONE KNOWS ME.
YET
THESE YOUNG ADULTS SEEM TO BE DRAWN TO ME
AS I AM TO THEM.
I DON'T WANT THEM TO MAKE THE SAME STUPID MISTAKES,
TO NOT WALK AWAY
AND TRY TO DO THIS LIFE ON THEIR OWN.
THESE YOUNG CHRISTIANS ARE OUR FUTURE,
AND WE MUST PASS THE LIGHT,
SO HERE I AM
AT A CHURCH SO BIG
THAT I MOST LIKELY LOOK
LIKE A LITTLE ANT TO THE PASTOR.
BUT I'VE LEARNED A THING OR TWO
SINCE WE LOST MAMA J JUST BEFORE CHRISTMAS LAST YEAR.
I WILL NOT ONLY LISTEN TO YOU, JESUS,
BUT I WILL STAY AS INSTRUCTED.
AND I WILL KEEP ON WRITING NO MATTER THE CONSEQUENCES.
BECAUSE, FOR SOME ODD REASON,
I'M STARTING TO FEEL AT HOME.

LET YOUR LITTLE LIGHT SHINE,
AND DON'T BE AFRAID TO LET IT GROW.