BETRAYED

LORD, I'M HANGING BY A THREAD.
MY BEST FRIEND HAS HURT ME
TERRIBLY
AND I HONESTLY DON'T THINK
THEY BELIEVE ME.
I HAVE NO PLACE TO RUN AND HIDE
EXCEPT INTO YOUR WINGS.
HOLD MY HAND, LORD,
BECAUSE I CAN'T SEE TOO FAR AHEAD
WHAT WITH ALL OF THIS PEA SOUP FOG.
AND, UH, WAS THAT JUST AN EARTHQUAKE I FELT?
I FEEL AS IF I SOMEHOW 
STEPPED INTO A HORROR MOVIE.
OKAY, NOW I'M REALLY GETTING SCARED.
YES, I KNOW THAT FEAR 
DOES NOT COME FROM YOU,
BUT I NEVER THOUGHT THIS KIND OF THING
WOULD EVER HAPPEN TO ME.
WHAT HAVE I DONE?
WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?
IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU, I WOULDN'T STAY.
I'M IN GREAT NEED OF A MIRACLE
BY YESTERDAY.
THAT'S HOW SHATTERED I AM,
DEEP DOWN INTO THE DEEPEST PART OF ME.
AND MY HEART REALLY DOES ACHE.
AND BECAUSE
OF MY WONDERFUL UPBRINGING,
I QUESTION MYSELF,
SURE I'VE MADE SOME KIND OF MISTAKE.
I MUST HAVE.
IT WAS ALWAYS MY FAULT BACK THEN,
IT WAS ALWAYS GUESS WHO BEING BLAMED.
LORD, I AM SO TIRED OF THIS RACE,
OF THIS BATTLE,
OF THIS PACE.
CAN'T I JUST HAVE ONE DAY OF REST?
YOU DID WHEN YOU CREATED ALL OF THIS.
AND I AM SO MUCH WEAKER THAN YOU.
I CANNOT CONTINUE,
IT HURTS TOO MUCH,
AND I CAN'T STOP CRYING.
BUT NOT IN FRONT OF ANYBODY,
BECAUSE I WAS BROUGHT UP 
THAT THAT WAS WRONG,
PRIVATE.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE, LORD?
WHEN I WENT TO GET HELP, I FELT
AS IF THEY THOUGHT
I WAS MAKING EVERYTHING UP.
EXCEPT THAT DAY AT THE ALTER,
WHERE YOU WASHED ME IN YOUR SPIRIT,
IN YOUR LOVE,
IN A WAY I HAVE HONESTLY NEVER FELT BEFORE.
MY HEART FELT SO WARM,
AS IF YOU WERE HOLDING IT IN YOUR VERY HANDS.
I JUST WANTED TO BE STILL
AND LISTEN TO YOU.
CAN YOU PLEASE DO THAT AGAIN, TODAY, JESUS,
BECAUSE I'M ABOUT TO CAVE IN.
I PRAY THAT NO ONE ELSE WOULD EVER FEEL
THIS WAY,
SO BETRAYED.
SO I TURN TO YOU,
ON BENT KNEES
IF I COULD.
BUT I KNOW THAT YOU CAN SEE INTO MY HEART,
THE SHAME,
THE FEAR,
THE BLAME,
THE UNBELIEF OF THIS PARTICULAR SITUATION.
AND WHAT DO I DO?
I TURN TO MAN
INSTEAD OF TO YOU.
WILL I EVER LEARN,
PASS THIS TEST,
BE ABLE TO STEP FORWARD?
I'M SCARED
OF WHAT LIES AHEAD.
I NEED PEACE,
I NEED TO BE LOVED JUST THE WAY I AM.
DO YOU KNOW,
CAN YOU TELL ME
HOW MUCH FURTHER I HAVE TO GO
UNTIL I FINISH THIS RACE?
I THINK I MADE A DETOUR,
BECAUSE ALL OF A SUDDEN
THE AIR IS TOO THIN TO BREATH,
AND I PANIC,
AND CAN'T STAND.
SO I FALL INTO YOUR ARMS.
I BELIEVE I SHALL STAY RIGHT HERE
THE REST OF THE WAY.
KAY?
I SUBMIT TO YOU.

PROVERBS 3:5-6

TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART

AND LEAN NOT TO YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING;

IN ALL YOUR WAYS

SUBMIT TO HIM

AND HE WILL MAKE YOUR PATHS STRAIGHT