OTHERS,
EVEN THOSE SUPPOSEDLY IN CHARGE,
DISAPPOINT,
ARE SURROUNDED
BY VERY SHARP,
RUSTY
BARBED WIRE.
I STILL HAVE
A BARBED WIRE SCAR
FROM THE FARM.
THAT WAS A LONG TIME AGO,
SO I'M DONE TRYING TO GET THROUGH
TO YOU-KNOW-WHO
CUZ THAT WIRE BURNS.
LORD, IF THERE IS A DOOR,
HERE -
YOU
AND YOU ALONE
ARE JUST GONNA HAVE TO OPEN IT ON YOUR OWN,
TO WHISPER IN HIS EAR,
CUZ YOU HAVE ALREADY GIVEN
ME
THE VISION.
I'M FINISHED INTERRUPTING.
I'VE ALSO HAD A VERY SAD VISION
OF SOMETHING ELSE HAPPENING,
BUT I'M TRYING TO
SWEEP THAT ONE INTO THE CLOSET
FOR NOW.
I'M SORRY, GOD,
I'M PROMISE I'M NOT TRYING TO IGNORE YOU,
I JUST NEED TO PUT IT IN THE BACK,
WHERE IT'S HARD TO SEE CUZ OF ALL THE DUST,
BOXES
AND THINGS.
IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T TRUST YOU,
IT'S JUST THAT I'M JUST WAY TOO WEAK
AT THIS PARTICULAR POINT IN TIME.
I'M ALREADY SHATTERED BY EVERYTHING
THAT HAS HAPPENED.
DO I NEED TO BE SHATTERED MORE?
WHAT ARE YOU MAKING?
CAN I JUST HAVE A GLIMPSE
SO SOMEHOW THIS CAN ALL MAKE SENSE?
JUST A PEEK?
PLEASE?
ARE THERE OTHERS OUT THERE
WHO FEEL AS IF THEY ARE IN A FOG,
FOLLOWING JESUS
AND STAYING ON THE PATH,
YET ALL YOU SEE
ARE LIGHTS AT YOUR FEET?
I GUESS THIS MURKINESS
HAPPENS A LOT
WHEN YOU KEEP A HOLD
OF JESUS' HAND
AND FOLLOW ONLY HIS PATH.
WALK BY FAITH.
DO WHAT IS RIGHT
IN GOD'S EYES.
BUT I HURT SO DEEPLY LORD,
BECAUSE I DO STILL CARE,
IT DOES STILL HURT
I MEAN,
HE DIDN'T EVEN RECOGNIZE MY NAME.
I'M HIS BROTHER'S DAUGHTER.
WHAT DID I DO?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
YET I HAPPEN TO HAVE A SECRET WEAPON:
I HAVE
MY
WONDERFUL
SELECT
RELATIVES
THAT MATTER.
AND, ON TOP OF THAT,
THEY ARE MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS
IN THE LORD.
SO, NO MATTER THE CIRCUMSTANCE,
AND MOST ESPECIALLY WHEN I AM
AT MY LOWEST,
I SHALL CONTINUE TO FOLLOW
YOUR PATH LORD,
AND WRITE POEMS.
EVEN IF IT'S
ABOUT THE STUFF THAT HAPPENED TO ME
VERY RECENTLY
AND FELT, TO ME,
WAS CONDONED
BY A LEADER.
SILLY ME,
I HAD THE IMPRESSION
BY HIS NAME TAG
THAT HE WAS THERE TO HELP.
(JUST A LITTLE IDEA HERE:
IT MIGHT HELP YOU AS
LEADERS
SO TO SPEAK
IF YOU COULD POSSIBLY MAKE AVAILABLE
NAME TAGS FOR ALL OF US OTHERS
THAT ARE NOT IN CHARGE
AS WELL.
THEN
YOU WOULD HAVE
NO EXCUSE IF I WORE ONE
NOT TO REMEMBER
THAT MY NAME IS
SHERRIE.
I DON'T REALLY LIKE TO WEAR
NAME TAGS REALLY,
THOUGH,
CUZ IT JUST MAKES ME FEEL
AS IF I'M BEING LABELED.
(WELL, IN ACTUALITY, I AM.)
JUST MAYBE
IF YOU HAD EVER TAKEN A MINUTE OR TWO
OUT OF YOUR VERY BUSY CHURCH LEADER TIME
TO READ ANY OF MY POETRY
THAT I, FOR THE RECORD,
DO NOT INTENTIONALLY TRY TO RHYME
(IT JUST COMES OUT THAT WAY. K?)
YOU MIGHT JUST KNOW NOT ONLY
WHAT A FREE SPIRIT I AM
BUT I LOVE MY LORD JESUS CHRIST
AS MUCH AS I CAN.
HE IS MY DADDY,
HE IS MY BEST FRIEND.
BUT, THAT'S REALLY NOT OKAY
THAT YOU HAVE NOT TAKEN THE TIME
TO READY ANYTHING I'VE EVER WRITTEN,
BECAUSE I REMEMBER
ASKING YOU ON MANY OCCASIONS
TO JUST TAKE A SEC AND PLEASE READ
ONE OF MY POEMS.
HEY,
IT'S NOT OKAY,,
BUT
JOIN THE CLUB,
CUZ I BELIEVE MOST OF MY BLOOD RELATIVES
HAVEN'T READ ANYTHING I'VE EVER WRITTEN,
EITHER,
EVEN THE ONE I WON A TROPHY FOR IN THE FIRST
GRADE.
IT WAS CALLED 'HOW LONG IS A BIRD'S WING?'
I THANK YOU JESUS
THAT
I AM NO LONGER GOING TO THIS CHURCH
JUST BECAUSE I WISH TO HEAR
FROM THIS PARTICULAR BARBED-WIRE MAN
WHO SEEMS TO BE
TO-THE-MAX
BODY-GUARDED.
IT SADDENS ME,
BECAUSE I USED TO REALLY ADMIRE HIM
AND HIS OPINIONS.
I AM NOW GOING TO THIS
MEGA CHURCH NOW
BECAUSE I AM MAKING
FRIENDS,
BECAUSE THE USHERS ARE SO HELPFUL
TO ME
AND MY DISABILITY,
AND CALL ME SISTER.
THERE ARE ALTER CALLS,
MONTHLY COMMUNION,
AND (DARE I LET MY PENTECOSTAL SIDE SLIP?
WHAT THE H E DOUBLE HOCKY STICKS?)
ACTUALLY PRAY AND LAY HANDS ON
THEIR ILL SISTERS AND BROTHERS
AND WHOMEVER NEEDS PRAYER,
EVEN ME.
SO, NO MATTER THIS BARB-WIRED
GUARDED
LEADER,
I SHALL CONTINUE ON GOD'S PATH FOR ME:
WRITING POETRY.
THAT,
FOR SOME REASON ONLY JESUS KNOWS,
PEOPLE SEEM TO ENJOY,
EVEN,
I AM VERY HAPPY TO SAY,
SOME OF MY BLOOD FAMILY.
I CORINTHIANS 1:10-17
A CHURCH DIVIDED OVER LEADERS
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