GOOD MORNING. OR IS IT? (UPDATED)

I WAKE UP

AND THINK

IS TODAY GOING TO BE THE SAME,

FILLED WITH PAIN?

THE FIRST THING I FEEL

IS, LIKE EVERY OTHER DAY,

THE PAIN THAT RUNS DOWN MY BACK INTO MY LEFT LEG.

REALLY?  AGAIN?

WHY WON'T IT GO AWAY?

I'M NOT GOOD WITH PAIN.

NEVER HAVE BEEN,

NEVER WILL.

SOME PEOPLE TELL ME THAT THE PAIN ISN'T REAL.

BUT THEY'RE NOT LIVING IN MY SHOES,

AND THEY DON'T KNOW THE HALF OF IT,

WHAT IT'S LIKE TO LIVE

WITH A DISABILITY

THAT CONFINES YOU,

DERIVES YOU

AND DEFINES YOU.

I REFUSE, THOUGH, TO BE DEFINED BY THIS PAIN.

I WANT TO BE KNOWN BY ANY OTHER NAME.

POET,

MOTHER,

WIFE.

CHOOSE ONE OF THESE, PLEASE.

OR YOU CAN CALL ME

A CHILD OF GOD, PART OF THE HEAVENLY ARMY.

I KNOW, TOO,

THAT THERE MUST BE A REASON

FOR WHAT I'VE BEEN GOING THROUGH

FOR SO LONG.

AND FOR REAL COMFORT

I WON'T LOOK TO ANOTHER,

BUT TO JESUS CHRIST,

MY FATHER.

HE IS THE ONLY ONE

THAT CAN SAVE ME FROM THIS PAIN.

2 CORINTHIANS 5:7

FOR WE LIVE BY FAITH,

NOT BY SIGHT.