IT'S NOT YOU (UPDATE)

I AM NOT OVERSTATING
WHEN I SAY
THAT EVERY DAY
I HAD TO SUFFER THROUGH
FIGHTING, 
SCREAMING,
HITTING
AND THREATS
AND BEING TOLD I WAS NOT WORTH ANYTHING,
THAT I WAS STUPID,
THAT I WAS UGLY.
JUST A TASTE.

BACK THEN,
IT WAS NEVER ALLOWED TO BE MENTIONED.

BUT IF I CAN HELP JUST ONE SOUL,
THEN TODAY
I SHALL SAY
THAT IT WAS NOT AND IS NOT
AND NEVER WILL BE OKAY
TO BE TREATED THIS WAY.

DO NOT LET ANYONE,
EVEN YOUR SUPPOSED LOVED ONES,
TELL YOU HOW TO LIVE YOUR LIFE
THE WAY THEY WANT YOU TO,
MAKE A LITTLE MINI THEM
SO THEY CAN LIVE THEIR LIVES 
OVER THROUGH YOU AGAIN.
JUST BECAUSE THEIR LIVES DID NOT TURN OUT
THE WAY THEY WANTED FOR THEMSELVES
DOES NOT MEAN THEY OR ANYONE HAS THE RIGHT
TO START OVER AGAIN THROUGH SOMEONE ELSE.

THERE IS A REASON WHY
WE ARE ONLY GIVEN ONE CHANCE AT LIFE.

LISTEN TO AN OLDER CHILD OF THE KING,
SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN IN THIS PLACE
THAT IS NOT MY HOME FOR NEARLY 61 YEARS
AND IS NOT YOUR MOTHER (LOL):

YOUR LIFE IS YOURS
UNTIL YOU GIVE IT AWAY.
AND I PRAY THAT WHEN YOU DO GIVE IT AWAY,
YOU GIVE IT TO THE KING OF KINGS.
JESUS, I MEAN.

IF IT HAD NOT BEEN FOR JESUS,
WHO KNOWS WHO OR WHERE I WOULD BE TODAY.
WOULD I BE WRITING POETRY
THAT HAS BEEN READ IN, GOD BLESS,
NEARLY 70 COUNTRIES?

YOU SEE,
MY EARLIEST MEMORY
IS COMING HOME FROM SCHOOL,
SEEING THE KITCHEN CUPBOARDS OPEN
AND MOVING BOXES EVERYWHERE.
SO I NEVER KNEW IF MY DADDY
WAS COMING OR GOING.
NO STABILITY.

MY MOTHER WAS BUSY
FEELING GUILTY
BECAUSE MY SISTER HAD CONTRACTED
POLIO IN HER LEG
THE SAME YEAR THE POLIO VACCINE WAS TAINTED.

SO, ME?
I WAS SHOVED INTO THE SHADOWS.
THAT IS,
UNTIL MY DAD BROUGHT OUT HIS BELT.

IT'S NOT EASY FEELING INVISIBLE
FROM YOUR EARLIEST MEMORIES,
ONLY BROUGHT OUT OF THE CORNERS
WHEN I WAS IN TROUBLE.

WHERE WAS THE LOVE?
WHAT HAD I DONE WRONG?
AND I DARE NEVER 
SHOW ANY FEELINGS.
AND I MOST ESPECIALLY
WAS NOT ALLOWED TO CRY,
EVEN THOUGH I COULD NOT HELP MYSELF,
EVEN WHEN I BROKE MY ARM.
HOW COULD I AS A LITTLE CHILD NEVER CRY?

AND NOW I'M IN TROUBLE
FOR SHARING THE DEEP DARK SECRET
OF ALL OF THE BEATINGS.

HOW DID YOU NEVER KNOW?
OR WAS IT JUST EASIER FOR YOU
TO TURN YOUR BACK,
IGNORE?

BUT I FEEL LED TO  SHARE,
TO LET OTHERS KNOW
THEY ARE NOT ALONE
IN THEIR SUFFERINGS.
THAT THEY ARE LOVED.

AND THERE REALLY IS SOMEONE WHO CARES,
SOMEONE WHO SACRIFICED HIS LIFE ON A TREE
TO SET YOU FREE.

JESUS CRIED AND DIED FOR YOU,
SO, RETURN THE FAVOR,
AND GIVE HIM YOUR LIFE. 
COME TO HIM AS YOU ARE.
HE WILL WASH YOU CLEAN.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO CHANGE ANYTHING.
HIS CLEANSING BLOOD AND SACRIFICE
WILL DO THAT FOR YOU.
I PROMISE YOU WILL NOT REGRET
GIVING YOUR LIFE TO THE ONE WHO SAVED YOU.


ISAIAH 43:18-19 - FORGET THE FORMER THINGS, DO NOT DWELL ON THE PAST.  SEE I AM DOING A NEW THING, NOW IT SPRINGS UP.  DO YOU NOT PERCEIVE IT? I AM MAKING A WAY IN THE WILDERNESS AND STREAMS IN THE WASTE LAND.