RAMBLING A LITTLE

I REFUSE TO STOP,
NO MATTER WHAT YOU THINK
OR WHAT YOU SAY.
I'M JUST TELLING THE TRUTH.
YOU KNOW IT TOO, 
BUT YOU REFUSE TO ACKNOWLEDGE
THE TERROR,
ME, RUNNING TO YOUR ROOM
IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT,
NEARLY EVERY NIGHT,
BEGGING TO CUDDLE WITH YOU IN YOUR BED,
HIDE,
FRIGHTENED,
NOT KNOWING WHAT ELSE TO DO.
WAS IT MY FAULT?
DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG?
ARE YOU STILL MAD AT ME
BECAUSE I'M NOT THE ONE 
WHO CONTRACTED POLIO THAT YEAR
THAT THE BATCH WAS BAD?
YOU SEE, I'VE PRAYED FOR THE WISDOM
OF SOLOMON,
MORE,
AND I'M BEGINNING TO UNDERSTAND
WHY I WAS EITHER SHOVED INTO THE CLOSET
OR USED AS A MEANS OF AMUSEMENT 
FOR FAMILY AND/OR FRIENDS
(AS LONG AS THE LIVING ROOM WAS FILLED UP)
BECAUSE MY NAME IS SHERRIE
AND I COULDN'T PRONOUNCE MY Rs.
I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU USED ME
FOR YOUR OWN AMUSEMENT
I WAS SO EMBARRASSED
MY CHEEKS WERE FLUSHED,
AND ALL I COULD DO WAS STARE AT THE FLOOR.
REALLY?  YOU DIDN'T NOTICE?
I GUESS IT MUST BE THIS SENSITIVE THING
THAT EVERYONE BUT MY LORD
HAS TOLD ME IS A BAD TRAIT TO HAVE.
HE CALLS IT A GIFT.
BUT THIS ATROCITY
HAS STAYED WITH ME 
ALL OF THESE YEARS.
ARE YOU EVEN AWARE
THAT FOR DECADES I HAVE ASKED MYSELF
WHAT I DID WRONG?
I WAS A LITTLE GIRL WITH A SWEET DIMPLED SMILE, SPARKLING GREEN EYES, 
AND SUN-STREAKED BLOND HAIR.
AND I LOVED THE LORD WITH ALL OF MY HEART.
WELL, HE WAS THE ONLY DADDY
THAT STAYED AROUND.
AND O, HOW I LOVED TO SING PRAISES 
TO JESUS.
BUT, FOR SOME REASON OR OTHER, 
I WAS NEVER GOOD ENOUGH, 
AND MOST LIKELY NEVER WILL BE IN YOUR EYES.
BUT THE ONLY ONE I CARE ABOUT PLEASING
IS JESUS MY LORD.
AND, SOMEHOW, I SEE BEAUTY 
REFLECTED IN HIS EYES.

HEBREWS 12:1  THEREFORE, SINCE WE ARE SURROUNDED BY SUCH A GREAT CLOUD OF WITNESSES, LET US THROW OFF EVERYTHING THAT HINDERS AND THE SIN THAT SO EASILY ENTANGLES.  AND LET US RUN WITH PERSEVERANCE THE RACE MARKED OUT FOR US.